"Is it unusual to be a virgin at 24? My boyfriend says it is, and he's pressuring me to have sex."
I'm writing to ask if it's unusual to be a virgin at 24 as my current boyfriend said it's really uncommon and that if I really loved him I'd have sex with him.
It's not that I've chose to stay a virgin its just that three years ago my last boyfriend I'd planned to sleep with cheated on me with my best friend. Obviously I wasn't going to sleep with him after that.
I've been with my new man for two years. Ever since xmas he's been pressuring me to have sex and now says that if I don't do it with him no other man will want me as no man wants a virgin.
Is there any truth in this or should I just have sex with my boyfriend to stop him leaving me? I'm very confused!
Let me start by saying it's unusual, though nothing to be ashamed of, to be a virgin at 24. As you've explained, the circumstances make it perfectly understandable. I'd say most people have lost their virginity by 24, but I personally know both men and women who have been virgins at that age, usually due to events similar to yours.
It's also untrue that 'no man will want you'. That's utter rubbish! The right guy will respect you for not sleeping with someone before you were ready so please don't worry about that.
If your boyfriend were approaching this differently, I would also respect that he has a point. He's been with you for a while and probably thinks he has given you enough time to want to progress a step further towards having sex.
But he's not gently suggesting you take it further and making you feel comfortable with the decision. He is threatening you by saying he'll leave if you don't put out and filling your head with equally as nasty threats like 'no man will want you unless you do it'.
I don't think you should sleep with him to keep him. I think you should tell him if he loved you, he would be trying to get you to a place where having sex seemed like the most natural thing in the world. This is blackmail. If I were you, I would wait until a kinder, more considerate guy came along.