• Sex Advice: Watch and learn - masturbation techniques to use on him

    Watch and learn: masturbation techniques for her to use on him

    The only, absolutely guaranteed way to find out how your partner likes to be brought to orgasm manually is to watch them do it themselves.

    Watching your partner masturbate isn't just sexy, it's the most informative sex lesson you'll get. Too embarrassed to demonstrate? Close your eyes as you're doing it. I don't care if you're dying behind those eyelids, the benefits of doing this far outweigh the angst, so stop being a wimp and get on with it.

    When he's doing it, pay special attention to...

    Where he places his hand at the very start
    This is crucial. Adopting the exact position of his hand and fingers is the key to replicating what he does. Ask him to stop the minute he's taken hold of himself and take a good look. Get him to remove his hand and put yours in what you think is the exact same position. Does he agree you've got it right?

    What pressure, speed and rhythm he uses
    Put your hand over his once he gets going to get a better idea of the speed and rhythm. Once you've got the general idea, let him continue solo.

    What alters from his first hand motion to orgasm
    Does he maintain the same technique or switch between several? Does he speed up on approach to orgasm? Does he use his free hand to stimulate any other areas like his testes or lower tummy?

    What happens to his body on approach to orgasm
    You'll probably notice his testes will rise towards his body, his penis will become purplish in colour and his breathing will alter. Also look for his 'orgasm face' - a tell-tale expression that he's about to climax. Is his head thrown back? What noises is he making?

    When he stops stimulation
    Once you can see he's crossed the line into ejaculatory inevitability - he's about to orgasm no matter what - what happens next? When does he stop moving his hand? Does he remove it completely or hold onto his penis till the very end? How is he holding it?

    Heat up your sex life

    Comments (2)

    • Lisa: January 31, 2010 00:32
      I've tried this but I simply cannot get my hand into the right position, or if I do manage it, its so awkward I have no strength or stamina to do anything with it. Any further advise?
    • LoveHoney - Carly: February 01, 2010 14:02
      Hi Lisa,

      It might be the position that you're in that is causing you some discomfort. Men naturally have a good grip on their penis because their hands are facing the right way to grip it. If you're trying to do the job for them, it's hard to replicate the same sensations.

      Why not try either sitting behind him, with your arms around his body (this is a great one to try in the bath) to get the same angle as he would have when masturbating?

      Alternatively, if he is more visual, why not get him to lie down whilst you sit on his chest, resting your weight on your knees and the bed? This way he gets a great view of your bottom, your hands are positioned in the same way his would be and you can switch hands almost seamlessly when one gets tired.

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