"I've got a really beautiful girlfriend but struggle to get hard. What is going on?"
I have started to date a beautiful woman and it’s making me perform badly in bed. I never had the problem in the past with women I think nothing of but this is different. I have this Page Three beauty type giving me oral sex and I’m soft!
She’s very understanding and I give her an orgasm but I’m still gutted about it. I know not to drink too much and be healthy but it’s my thoughts that get in the way. I can’t stop thinking about not getting hard for her and the inevitable happens.
I bought a cock ring hoping that might help but am keen to know your thoughts.
OK, you already know the answer to this because you’ve told me in your question. We’re all sex gods with partners we don’t really care about because we’re able to let go, be experimental and uninhibited because we don’t care if they judge or rate us.
We turn into sex nerds with someone we desperately want to impress and become self-conscious, awkward, anxious and totally uptight. Penises, as you’ve guessed, are connected to brains after all, and the more you worry, the less likely it is you’ll get hard.
The way to fix this is twofold. First up, I get the impression you don’t consider yourself good enough for this girl. Sure, she’s gorgeous with a great body but what about the rest? Aren’t there areas where you are ‘better’ than her? Try to even up the score in your head and think about what a great catch you are.
The higher your self-esteem and more equal you feel, the more confident you and your penis will be in bed. Secondly, stop thinking sexual prowess is the only way to impress this girl. How about your wit, intelligence, personality? Stop making it all about sex for a bit. The less focus you give sex, the better you’ll perform.
As for the cock ring... you can try it but they’re more for keeping an erection for longer than getting one in the first place. Leave it - I think it would just put even more pressure on you.