• "I want to give my new boyfriend great oral sex. Have you got any pointers or tips?"


    I've recently started seeing a guy who is really keen on receiving oral sex. Problem is, I'm not exactly brilliant at it, and I don’t want to put him off by lack of skill.

    Instead I want to be the best he's had! Could you give me some pointers or some tips that could help me out with this?


    If you want thorough step-by-step guides which go into specific detail, you’ll find them in lots of my books. Try supersex for starters. Some basics though: enthusiasm counts for more than technique - the more you want to be there doing it, the more he’ll enjoy it.

    Tease him a little before going there and instead of doing it in bed, drop to your knees while he’s standing, and unzip his jeans. You’ll turn him on more and you have more control. Use one hand to hold the base of the penis so it doesn’t flop out of your mouth and use the other hand as a guide. Then slide that hand up and down his penis as it’s moving in and out of your mouth.

    Don’t pull your lips in to cover your teeth, push them out so your teeth are safely out of the way, then close your mouth around him and encircle his penis so there’s a firm but comfortable pressure. Practice on your finger.

    Then move into a twist and swirl: make a gentle twisting motion with your hand as you’re sliding it up and down, and swirl your tongue around the head of his penis every time you’re up that end. Start off agonizingly slow and increase the rhythm and pressure as he approaches orgasm.

    Supercharge your sex life

    Comments (10)

    • kudbettin: October 12, 2009 18:09
      Dear writer. I have a complain. A strange one but in the very middle of every muslims mens life. Because we all had circumcision there is no possibility for some hands to slide up and down on our penis. So all the work is left for the mouth which turns to be a tiresome work to do for women. Would you have a suggestion for this weird inconvenience ?
    • LoveHoney - Carly: October 13, 2009 08:47
      Hi kudbettin,

      Why not try purchasing some lubricant for some handy fun?
      Lubricant allows the hands to move up and down the penis smoothly without the need for the foreskin. With lubricant, there is no irritation and no chafing and it's possible for your partner to change hands or involve her mouth for a little variety too!

      You can see LoveHoney's great range of lubricants here: www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex/lubricants/

      Hope this helps!

    • kudbettin: October 13, 2009 16:42
      Hello Carly, thanks for quick reply.
      I've checked the link you posted but I didn't see whether they are OK for tasting or not because the problem rises from the pain due rubbing of hands while doing oral. By the way, saliva does not help much enough for the contact of the hand and penis' skins. So what could absolutely work here is gathering and making of an edible sort of lubricant, on this, I guess asking cooks might help :)
    • becks: October 14, 2009 07:04
      I know my partner also likes it when I flick my tongue across and occasionally into his 'eye' and trace the contours/ridges of his 'head' ... especially if I'm also caressing his 'balls' at the same time ... but the thing he loves the most is that i love it, that more than anything one can do to him is what turns him on the most and makes it a pleasure to have oral. bx
    • LoveHoney - Carly: October 14, 2009 08:57
      Hi Kudbettin,

      All water-based lubricants are edible and we even do flavoured lubricants which make both oral and manual play, tasty, slippery and ultra fun: www.lovehoney.co.uk/store.cfm?cat=41

      Saliva dries out quickly which is why you've been having problems but lubricants last for a really long time thanks to their clever ingredients!

      Hopw thi helps!

    • kudbettin: October 14, 2009 20:43
    • spanky!: July 25, 2010 23:18
      Hi there,
      Im kind of in the same position, im not a lover of oral and even more so with my new boyfriend as he is..very well endowed.

      I feel scared in a way to do it as there is literally no way i can avoid covering my teeth as he takes,well, the whole of my mouth up, without that sounding like common sense! I can only manage the actual head, which makes me feel bad, as i dont know what else to do to add to the pleasure..

      I'm stuck in a rut and he has picked up that i am avoiding doing it, ah please share your advice it will be much appreciated.

    • becks: July 26, 2010 01:09


      the head is imho the best part of the penis, the most erotic - as my guy is also fairly well endowed i can't take alot of him in my mouth at any one time - this is fine, get a good water based lube -- if the taste isn't for you then flavoured lube is quite nice these days ... and a minty one might even add to the sensation for him ...

      use your hand to rub up and down his length and switch between a handjob and oral, use oral for his head and balls and hands for the rest ... you can if you're feeling able use your tongue and kissing up and down his length rather than trying to take him all into your mouth ...

      the part of the penis which comes down from where his head has a 'nick' in it is the incredibly erotic for men to have licked and kissed up and down ...

      tell your guy that you're just nervous as his size overwhelms your mouth a bit and need to just play with his gorgeous penis and balls to get to know them ... try not to put yourself under any pressure to get him to orgasm or any other place just to have fun together exploring what works for you both ...

      what my guy and i do when i move onto 'in my mouth' oral is i use my hand as a 'stop' point for his penis, usually about half or 3/4 way along his length, and my other hand caresses his balls ... this works very well, he can thrust without worrying he is going to panic or hurt me, or my teeth will hurt him, and i can loose myself in the taste and sensations of him in my mouth without the worry of gagging, teeth etc ....

      hope that helps :)

    • Spanky :): July 26, 2010 17:57
      Thanks so much, i'll give it a bash! ^ :)
    • becks: July 28, 2010 19:13
      hi spanky,

      good luck ..

      one thing i forgot to add is if you have a bullet vibe (lipstick sized) then it can be pleasurable for your partner to have you use that on his penis (and balls if he likes that, my partner loves it) and even when his head is in your mouth hold/stroke the vibe against the outside of your cheek ... :)

      there is so much pleasure we can give each other with a little imagination and moving away from the 'gotta suck deep' oral :)

      good luck again

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