"How can I keep our sex life fresh with my new girlfriend? I really want this one to work!"
I’ve been with my girlfriend for four months and we have brilliant sex but I want to keep it good by trying new things. In past relationships, the sex goes off after a year or so and I get bored.
How can I make sure this doesn’t happen with her. I really want to make it work with this one!
Lots of people think the ‘new’ thing has to be something crazy kinky to work. It doesn’t. The trick is to try one or two small things and build from there. The obvious and easy place to start is to look through some good general sex books for ideas.
Mark things you like the look of with sticky notes in one colour and get her to do the same with another. The pages both of you have marked you try first. The rest are negotiable once you’ve broken out of your comfort zones.
Take turns to plan a sex night. The person whose turn it is decides what you’re doing (choosing from what you’ve marked in the books), when, where, how, organises any props you need, and is the instigator.
This forces each of you to adopt different roles as giver and taker. Add a few new intercourse positions to your favourites. If you’re in a rut, you’re probably using one or two positions on a regular basis. Choose at least six others from the book or books, try them out over the next few sessions and you should end up with an extra two or three that you like.
Add in some new oral sex techniques or hand job techniques – most good sex books will detail these for you. By now, you should have found at least five or six new things you both enjoy (don’t expect to like everything you try!). The trick now is to keep going! It’s not cheating to nick stuff out of a sex book rather than think it up yourself – that’s what they’re for!