• "I've heard that sex disappears after a baby arrives. Is it true - and what can we do?"


    I have a great sex life with my partner and have heard all the horror stories that sex disappears after the baby arrives. Is it true and what can we do to keep things going?


    Having a child creates a violent upheaval in your sex life. A bouncing baby (emphasis on the word bouncing) is incredibly demanding, particularly in the first three months.

    Things do return to normal but it takes effort and a very long time. No sane women is dying for sex when she’s had two hours sleep in six weeks!

    To be honest, I think you do have to kiss goodbye a saucy sex life for the first two years. But there is good news. Plenty of couples get through all the angst to rediscover a new, improved sex life.

    To up your chances, follow the three golden rules. First up, talk about it. Reassure each other that your sex life hasn’t disappeared forever, it’s temporarily put on hold.

    Secondly, shift the focus from sexy to sensual. If you don’t feel like sex, have a cuddle or a bath instead. Keep touching and consider low effort forms of sex like mutual masturbation.

    Finally, do kegel exercises to tone your vagina. Simply squeeze the same muscles you use to stop yourself peeing, hold for a second or two, then release. Work up to three sets of 20 daily.

    Supercharge your sex life

    Comments (1)

    • Emma Garratt: March 16, 2010 19:18
      I thought that was a rubbish response to be honest! Has tracey even got kids?!
      'kiss goodbye a saucy sex life for the first two years' - what?!
      Every relationship is different so although some may be greatly affected by the birth of a child others often feel a closer bond and their love life blossoms despite the sleepless nights
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