"My sister is going out with a new guy who I find attractive. If they split is it OK to date him?"
I’m in a really difficult situation and not sure what to do to handle it. My sister is going out with a new guy who I find really attractive. I think the feeling is mutual because he flirts outrageously with me when she’s not around.
I obviously wouldn’t act on anything while he’s with my sister but I don’t actually think she’s that into him and they might end up splitting. If they did, is it OK to date him then?
The answer to that is a very tentative ‘possibly yes’ but only if your assumption is right that she was never that interested in the first place. Even so, you expressing interest will set off alarm bells for her and she’ll wonder if anything went on while she was dating him.
So, that’s the first thing you need to dispel if you do want to take it further: that nothing – not even a snog – happened while they were together. (And make sure this remains the case, too!) With all these situations, you need to work out what you will do if she forbids you dating him beforehand.
If you think you’re going to go for it anyway, present it as ‘I’m not asking your permission but would like you to know I’m dating your ex’, rather than ‘If you don’t want me to, I won’t go there’. Quite frankly, if you just fancy him and think it’s just going to be a fun fling, I wouldn’t go there.
Men come and go, sisters are there for life and her feelings are ultimately more important. He’d want to be extra-special. It goes without saying that if he leaves her heartbroken, it’s an absolute no-no.