"My boyfriend and I want to have a threesome with another girl. How do we go about this?"
My boyfriend and I want to take things to another level and have a threesome with another girl.
How do we go about this and where do we find someone who’s up for it?
You’ve already made up your mind to have a threesome, so I won’t waste my time trying to talk you out of it, even though it could be the worst idea you’ve ever had.
The fantasy of a threesome and the reality are often two totally different things with jealousy often causing major problems afterward. So you have been warned!
If you still want to proceed, there are various ways to approach it. You could try talking about threesomes to friends and see if anyone starts to suddenly drop by, asking for a cup of sugar at 11pm on a Saturday night.
Just be warned sleeping with friends is by far the riskiest of all your options even though it seems the most logical. If it all goes horribly wrong, better for it to be with a stranger that won’t remind you of it every time you see them.
Plus a billion other dilemmas: what if they want to do it again and you don’t? What if sleeping with you or your partner sparks feelings for either of you?
The safest option of all if you’re a couple, in my opinion, is to hire a sex worker and meet them at a hotel. Anonymity, little risk of a relationship developing, everyone knows what they’re there for and you feel less obligation to keep going if you decide it’s not for you. Just pay her or him and leave. (I hope it goes without saying that you’ll practise safe sex, regardless of who you choose!
Always remember, condoms aren’t absolute protection protection against STIs. Fingers, tongues, semen, skin to skin contact – all spread infection. The only way to guarantee you won’t ‘catch something’ is to go along to a swingers’ club and get your kicks simply by watching.)
Another alternative: if you live in a big city, google ‘sex party’ or ‘swinging’ and you’ll find there are parties or venues filled to the brim with like-minded people. I’m not saying you’ll want to shag (or even talk) to all these people, but they will want what you want.
The other option is to go online and place or answer an ad. Google ‘threesomes’ and you see you’re spoilt for choice. It’s prudent to all meet beforehand – don’t give our personal details until then. Not just to check you fancy each other but to check they’re not complete nutters.
Trust your instincts. If you sense there is something dodgy (in a bad way), don’t go there. I’d still consider meeting in a hotel rather than inviting them into your home.