"I'm a 20 year-old gay man - how can I make a guy like me?"
I am a gay man of 20 years old and want a relationship so badly but have no one.
How can I make a guy like me - just one. Anyone!
Your longing for a relationship drips from every word in your letter, however brief. It makes me want to give you an enormous hug and tell you everything will be OK - and it really will. All you need is a little faith in yourself.
How do you make people like you? Well, first up, people who are attractive to other people, like themselves a lot. So let’s turn this around from ‘How do I make people like me’ to ‘What sort of man is going to be lucky enough to get me, because I’m such a good catch!'.
It doesn’t matter a bit whether you’re gay, straight or fancy elephants, what matters is what you think of yourself. What are the qualities you want in a partner? Someone who is kind, who cares about you, who is interesting and funny, laughs a lot, is fun to be around and does interesting things? Yes? Then turn yourself into this person.
You should never ask for what you can’t deliver yourself. You’re 20 years old! You have the whole of your life spreading ahead of you. Happiness comes from many things - a great job, great friends, doing things you like doing, family, pets, reading, watching fabulous films - there’s more to life than just a relationship!
You sound like the sweetest man in the world and I bet you are loved by many. Stop to appreciate that - and try to relax. The one thing that will stop people loving you is being too desperate for it to happen. It’s not a compliment to a future partner to say you want any guy to like you. We all want to be loved for ourselves, for our individual quirkiness and special things that make us unique.
When you meet someone you like, be curious. Ask lots about them, get to know their particular dreams, their special likes and dislikes, what makes them tick. Make them feel like they are the most special person in the world, that no-one else would do for you but them.
Being loved by someone who is desperate for anyone doesn’t make people feel special. Being loved by someone who has high standards in what they want in a partner, does. Lift your standards and aim high. That’s what will ultimately get you what you want!