"I'm an 18 year old virgin and my boyfriend keeps pushing me to have sex. What can I do?"
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now and we haven't had sex. He keeps pushing me for it and I just keep saying I'm not ready. I’m 18 and a virgin. Whenever we get in bed he always moves over to me but I just pretend I'm asleep. He said that whenever I say no it turns him on. I don't know what to do anymore. What can I do?
There are some obvious ways to make this easier on both of you: first, give him an idea of when you will be ready to have sex and the reason why you want to wait. I thought it quite interesting that you didn’t include this in your email.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to preserve your virginity for either moral or religious reasons but you give no indication of whether you’re waiting for marriage or just for the time to be ‘right’. Which begs the question, are you waiting because you’re not ready for sex or because you’re not ready for sex with him?
Your first time is obviously very important to you, I wonder if your hesitation is because the man you’re with now isn’t the right person. If you’re sure he is, think about what you need to make yourself feel comfortable enough to have sex. Not because I’m trying to hurry you but because if he knows the answers to these questions, he may stop hassling you.
There are (obviously) other ways to satisfy him that don’t involve penetrative sex. You could indulge in mutual masturbation (using your hands on each other) or perform oral sex. If you give him lots of ‘treats’ like this and a deadline of when you would be ready for intercourse, he might well calm down.