• "Why can't my boyfriend get an erection? He only has a problem when he is with me."


    I've just started seeing a new man and after three weeks of playing around, we finally decided to have full sex except he couldn't get an erection. He still hasn't been able to and it's been a month. He told me this hasn't happened with anyone else, just me.

    He also tells me he feels more for me than anyone he's ever gone out with and he's terrified he'll lose me because of this. I can't help but feel a little offended that I'm the only one he's ever had this problem with.


    Don't be offended, feel complimented. This is more common than you think. It's very easy for men to get erections with women they don't really care for because it doesn't matter. There's zero performance anxiety with someone you'll never see again, which is why some men have no trouble getting erect for casual sex but find themselves impotent when it comes to doing it with someone they could fall in love with, or are in love with.

    The first time it happened, it was probably a simple case of stage fright. But because it didn't 'work' it made him even more nervous the second time, virtually guaranteeing an erection no-show. And so the cycle continues.

    So, yes it is you - but in a good way. If he didn't care, he'd probably get an erection in a flash! The way to solve it is to load on reassurance: that you not only like him as much as he likes you (if indeed you do) but that him not getting an erection won't put you off.

    Tell him you don't need an erect penis to keep you happy in bed and let him satisfy you using his fingers, tongue and a vibrator. Once the pressure is off, he'll start feeling more comfortable and the problem will right itself.

    Fix your love life fast

    Comments (1)

    • Ben: May 08, 2011 17:54
      Thank you, I have been experiencing this with my girl friend, I love her so much, but I get really nervous about not performing, and it just has continued.

      I thought I had a problem. I have been searching for the answer on what it was, this seems to be it.

      When she catches me by surprise, I'm fine but as soon as it reaches a certain point, I get nervous and the problem reoccurs. This has set my mind at ease :D

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