"Why do I always attract men who are already in relationships?"
I always seem to attract men who are already in relationships. Why and how can I tell early on that they’re already involved?
Ask them outright. A lot of men use the excuse ‘Well, it never came up’ or ‘I didn’t tell her I was single, she just assumed I was’. Assume nothing. If you start chatting to someone and find them attractive, don’t be too shy to ask outright ‘So, are you single or married or involved with anyone?’ (Make sure you add on the last one - he could easily say ‘no’ to both but have a live-in girlfriend! It’s all about loopholes!) Yes it’s direct, but it sorts the men from the boys very early on.
You both have no real reason to lie at that stage because you’ve only just met. Even if there’s a strong physical attraction, it’s easy for you to walk away if you’ve only been chatting for half an hour. And by asking him outright, he’s unlikely to try to pull the wool over your eyes because you’re on red alert.
If you ask and he says he’s single but you still get the feeling he’s lying, arrange to go to his place as soon as possible. Unless he’s a serial womanizer and has a shag pad, it’s pretty hard to invite you back for drinks if there’s a wife and kids at home. Or a girlfriend liable to call in at any moment – or notice blonde hairs all over the sofa.
Why are you attracting them? You’re wise to wonder if they’re choosing you or you’re choosing them. One married/attached man is a mistake, more than one is a choice. Do you have any commitment issues? I ask because ‘taken’ men are prime targets for commitment phobic women. They’re safe to get involved with because they’re can’t commit to you.