• "I can't chat women up in bars as I am so shy. What can I do?"


    What advice do you have for guys like me who are fearfully shy in a bar situation? More often than not such bashfulness is taken as arrogance. As a guy, we are supposed to make the first move but, for me, it’s harder than you think!


    I can give you some tips on how to pick up women in bars but if it’s not an environment you shine in, why not try somewhere else? The sort of guys who clean up in bars are generally confident, gregarious and practiced at chatting up women. If you’re shy, why don’t you try meeting women elsewhere where the pressure’s not so intense.

    You need to get out of this headset that you only meet women in pick up places on a Friday or Saturday night. What about women you meet in coffee shops, standing beside you in the supermarket, a festival, walking around a market, walking in a park? Practice smiling at people whenver you are out and about and strike up conversations with strangers anywhere and everywhere. You don’t have to say anything amazing, just what’s relevant to the situation: ‘It’s packed in here’ or ‘How good is the coffee in this place? Once you get used to talking to women, without an agenda, you’ll be more comfortable approaching someone you do fancy.

    Have you tried dating via the internet? I only suggest it because it’s tailor-made for people like you, who don’t like approaching people in bars. You get to communicate via the written word, then meet up once you’ve got to know the person a little. You’re not going in cold, which is what I think scares you.

    If you insist on sticking to bars to finds Ms Right or Right For Now, wait until you get a green light before you walk over to strike up conversation. Do this by looking over and catching her eye several times to show interest, then smiling to see if it’s returned. Once you’ve exchanged looks and smiles and she also glances over to catch your eye, as well as you trying to catch hers, it’s a pretty safe bet she’ll be open to you approaching her.

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