Foolproof Guide to Buying Her the Perfect Present
So she’s a shy, retiring type who’s only just allowed sex with the lights on? Rolling up with a gigantic rabbit vibrator, crotchless red underwear and a gimp suit isn’t going to score you brownie points. Neither is watching her unwrap it all in front of her mother - remember to give any sexy present privately and separately.
If it’s the first time you’ve bought a sex toy, keep it non-threatening and low key regardless of how ‘out there’ she is. Good choices for sexy, unintimidating gifts are the Supersex Bullet Vibrator (£14.99), Supersex 3 Speed Secretvibe Bullet (£19.99), Supersex Pleasure Wand Vibrator (£9.99), Supersex Beginner's Soft Bondage Kit (£22.99).
The longer you’ve been together, the raunchier you can go. Not only are you more aware of what she’s into sexually and would enjoy, you also know the ‘no go’ areas. Supersex Beginner's Bondage Tape (£6.00) is a fab, fun present but not if she’s claustrophobic or has any history of violence or sexual abuse in her past.
Lingerie is the hardest gift of all to get right. Buy it too small and she’ll be too embarrassed to say she’s three sizes bigger, so it never gets worn. Buy it too big and she’ll be paranoid you think she’s fat. If you want to buy underwear, check out the labels on at least three different sets of lingerie she already owns. Sizes differ dramatically. She might be a ‘small’ in one brand and a ‘large’ in the other (if she is, buy medium). Stick to white, cream, black or ‘pretty’ colours like blue or pink. Avoid red at all costs - it screams slutty and suits very few skin types.
Steer clear of any penis-shaped ‘realistic’ vibes, anal sex toy, whips or anything too ‘specialist’ or fetishistic.
If you buy something sexy, always combine it with a ‘love gift’. Even if your relationship is highly sexual and you barely leave the bed on the weekend, she’s not a walking vagina! If all your presents are sexy ones, that’s exactly how she’ll think you feel about her. By all means indulge her saucy side but combine it with something that makes her feel special in other ways as well. A cute thing to do is divide your gift into two parts, wrapped separately: ‘Because I think you’re sexy’ written on one card for the erotic stuff and ‘Because I love you’ on the rest. Even if you don’t present them like that, make sure your gifts appeal to both her heart and her parts.
The card and what you write on it, is just as important as the present. Women love words. She will analyse what you write on a card or gift tag at least 10 times. Then she’ll show it to her sister, her mother and at least five female friends to see what they think. If you’re stuck for what to say, think of five different adjectives to describe what you love about her and use these as the basis. Then simply write ‘I am so looking forward to spending Xmas with you. You’re such a lovely/generous/ beautiful/warm/attractive/etc etc person, I feel like the luckiest man in the world.’ If you’ve already said the ‘L’ word, don’t just sign off with ‘I love you’, embellish it. ‘You have no idea how much I love you’ or ‘I’ve never loved anyone like this before’ means more and is more personal.
If you see a future, tell her. Say ‘I am so looking forward to our life together’. If it’s early days and you don’t feel comfortable writing anything too heavy, say ‘I love being with you and am so looking forward to getting to know you properly’. On that note, don’t take the coward’s way out and say ‘The words on the card say it all’ unless the words on the card are so amazing, they really do say it all! If you don’t want to sign off with ‘Love’, write ‘lots of love’. ‘Best’, ‘Regards’ and (God forbid) ‘From’, are what you write to workmates and your granny. You could buy her the Hope Diamond and she’d still never forgive you for signing off with one of those!