"How can I get a girl to sleep with me? I want the sex my friends are getting."
I’m a pretty ordinary looking bloke - I’m not handsome but I'm not ugly either - but I find it hard to attract women. My mates all seem to pull easily and I don’t think they are any better than me. But I never do and I’m really tired of always having to DIY at the end of a night out. I want the sex they are getting but have no idea what I’m doing wrong. How can I get a girl to sleep with me?
Here’s the deal: go out searching for sex - which is effectively what you’re doing - and you will indeed find yourself home alone. Go out looking for a potential girlfriend and you’ll find the opposite happens.
There’s a huge difference between the two intentions and women can spot the guy who’s out to ‘get any girl in bed’ (it’s the ‘any’ that’s the giveaway) at 20 paces. He’s the one using the ‘scatter-gun’ approach and hitting on anything with a pulse. The guy the girls go home with are the ones who’ve made them feel special and appeared to be interested in more than just a shag.
You make it pretty clear from your email to me that you aren’t interested in a relationship right now, so where does this leave you? Am I telling you to lie and pretend you want more than just sex in order to get her out of the nightclub and into a cab home? Absolutely not. Am I telling you to stop thinking of women as walking vaginas? Yes. It’s not the 1950s and there are plenty of women out there who are just as up for no-strings sex as you are. But it would help if you’d show interest in her as a person, rather than just a prospective shag. So if I’m being harsh but hopefully you’ve got the message!