"I find the whole idea of sex at our age embarrassing and a little disgusting."
My husband and I are both in our early fifties and our children have now grown up and fled the nest. We still love each other very much but somewhere along the line we stopped having sex. I liked to think we’d outgrown that kind of thing, but now, out of the blue, my husband has started making sexual advances again. I’ve been trying to laugh it off but frankly I find the whole idea of sex at our age embarrassing and a little disgusting. I just can’t go through with it.
I get a quite a lot of shocking emails but I have to say this one made me spurt my morning coffee all over the computer screen. Dear God woman, I’ve never heard of anything more ridiculous than feeling too old for sex in your 50s! I know 80-year-olds who have a healthy sex life. It might not include all the elements their sex life did when they were younger but they’re still having plenty of orgasms. Your husband has the right idea making moves now. He figures you’ve done all the hard work bringing up the kids, now it's your time to enjoy yourself. And what better way to enjoy yourself than to have sex!
You think sex is disgusting. Really? Think back to when you were younger. I bet you didn’t think it was so disgusting when you were a horny 18-year-old. Unless you want to lose your husband, I’d suggest you try to rekindle some of that past passion by thinking back to the best sex you ever had and remembering how good it felt. Talk to your husband. Tell him you feel a bit weird and embarrassed about resuming sex again but you’re willing to try. Start by doing sexy things that don’t involve sex. Have a bottle of champers in the bath together. Start snuggling up on the sofa rather than sitting on different seats. Get him to give you a shoulder massage. In other words, get used to being physically affectionate and playful again. Plenty of older people find sex in their later years is the best ever. If you don’t believe me, get a copy of a brilliant book called ‘Better than Ever: Time for Love and Sex’ by Bernie Zilbergeld, which challenges many of the myths about sex and ageing.