• Sex Advice: How to give her pleasure with your hands

    Help! She hates my hand jobs

    How do you know if she does or doesn’t enjoy your fingers on her, when women are notorious people-pleasers? Watch her body language...

    • As a general rule, if she pulls away from your hand, you’re being too rough. If she pushes against it, you could be being too gentle. (Men nearly always make the first mistake because we do to others what we like ourselves and men tend to like a firmer touch.)
    • It’s all individual but most women like you to keep it gentle, soft, wet …and consistent. Don’t keep changing techniques. If she seems to like what you’re doing, keep on doing it.

    • Always use lube. It makes almost anything feel good.
    • The basic technique is to slowly slide a wet finger between the lips of the labia so you’re grazing the side of the clitoris. (Use the whole length of your finger, not just the pads of your fingers to start with.)
    • Dip your fingers inside her now and then to keep everything nice and wet but don’t make this the main event. Penetration feels nice but it’s generally clitoral stimulation that makes her orgasm. Or combine a bit of both.
    • Hone in on the clitoris when she’s fully aroused. Try circling with the pad of one fingertip, then go back to the sliding motion between the inner lips. Some women like just the sides of the clitoris touched, others a circling motion around the sides or direct stimulation.
    • As she seems close to climax (tenses, her chest goes red, she seems to hold her breath and go very still or bucks against your hand - each of us have our own individual giveaways), you might like to up the speed and pressure a little but you’re better off underplaying it rather than getting too rough or fast.

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