• "Is it time to settle for 'safe'?"


    My relationship history is pretty sad because of my past (both my parents cheated). I had therapy and understand my ‘patterns’ (I push men away when they get too close or down date so I won’t get hurt).

    Recently I dated a man who was worthy of me and I let him love me back but it’s just ended because he said he wasn’t ready to settle. Does this mean I’m not cured? I feel like I should stick with my ‘safe’ choices because at least then I won’t get hurt again.


    Sounds to me like you did get it right and managed perfectly well to love without falling back into your old patterns. The only mistake made this time was timing: the guy simply wasn’t ready for a serious relationship. Don’t beat yourself up, congratulate yourself on getting it right!

    As for the future… If we’re honest, I think most of us find love painful as well as pleasurable and it does require vulnerability and risk. But the right person can also provide happiness and a long-term contentment that’s unparalleled. Don’t settle for safe. Lick your wounds for a bit, then get back out there. Be careful but have faith in yourself. I do!

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