• "I feel awkward and embarrassed during oral sex"


    I never orgasm from it and I don’t particularly like doing it to my partner either. My jaw gets sore and I can't do it for long. How can I enjoy it more?


    A lot of women feel embarrassed when their partner gives them oral sex. It’s usually because they’re worried they smell, feel exposed when he’s up close and personal with such a private area of themselves or don’t think their ‘bits’ are terribly attractive. Truth is, a healthy vagina smells pleasant, most men find the natural odour a turn on and what we see as something squishy, purpley and weird looking, they see as massively arousing.

    Penises and testicles also look pretty strange if you think about it but thanks to Mother Nature, both sexes manage to find each set of genitals attractive! Feeling awkward or embarrassed suggests you’ve had a strict upbringing where you’ve been taught to think of sex as something that’s ‘dirty’ or ‘unladylike’. Think about where this attitude has come from and actively challenge it.

    It’s fairly easy to solve the problems you talk about re not enjoying giving your partner oral sex. Stop your jaw from hurting by trying different positions and using your hand. Get him to stand in front of you, while you sit on the bed facing him. Use one hand to control his penis, placing it at the bottom of the shaft, and you’re now in the ultimate position to control how deeply you take him into your mouth. Most feeling is in the head of the penis, not the shaft, so you don’t need to go too deep. Relax your mouth rather than hold your jaw tense and let your hand do most of the work by twisting it up and down the shaft as you move your mouth up and down. (Your hand is between your mouth and his penis most of the time, in other words.) This should stop your jaw hurting and also make him climax more quickly.

    Another sure fire way to get him to climax is to stimulate other areas while you’re fellating him. Reach up with a spare hand to tweak his nipples or firmly massage the perineum (the area between his anus and testicles) during oral sex. Also, don’t feel obliged to always ‘finish off’ oral sex. Tell him you’re happy to do it, but as part of foreplay rather than something that always has to result in an orgasm for him.

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