"Why Can't I Make Her Orgasm?"
My girlfriend and I have great sex and are up for trying pretty much anything but it frustrates me that she can’t orgasm with me inside her. She can orgasm easily from oral sex or my fingers but it frustrates me that she can’t do this through intercourse. My previous girlfriend had no problems at all.
Your previous girlfriend was either faking or one of the lucky one third of all women who can orgasm purely through penetration. The other two thirds of women - your girlfriend included - take their orgasms when and how we can get them - usually via your tongue, fingers or a vibrator. Here's why: your penis and sexual system is gloriously, wonderfully simple. The penis - the organ that needs stimulation to produce a male orgasm - is designed to go inside the vagina, where it's all warm and snug. Thrusting during intercourse provides the friction needed to stimulate the nerve endings and before you can say ‘Oh God, I think I’m…’, you normally have.
Women's bodies are complicated. Quite frankly, whoever designed us appears to have been far too focused on the baby part, with far too little attention given to the making of it. The clitoris - the organ we need stimulated to produce an orgasm - isn't inside the vagina where it should be, but stuck a distance away. Since intercourse is usually the ‘main event’ for most couples, it’s left looking on in bewilderment, wondering why it hasn’t been asked to come to the party. Sadly, this design fault can’t be corrected the same way your iPod would, if the wheel in the middle proved to be a pain in the ass position wise. We’re stuck with it – and so are you.
So you need to give up on wishing things were different and just accept that they are. For most women, the clitoris must come into direct contact with something – a finger, tongue or a vibrator – in order for us to orgasm. But this doesn’t mean it’s impossible for her to orgasm while you’re inside her. Some women manage to climax from penetration alone by getting stimulated to the brink of orgasm just before intercourse, using thrusting as a final trigger to push them over the edge. Or you could just use the good old her or your fingers or vibe on the clitoris while you’re thrusting away.