• How to Sext Saucy Stuff Without it Backfiring

    Dare: What Happens When Fantasies Come True by Tracey Cox

    Sexting is the perfect way to keep things hot when you're apart or to keep both of you on a sexual 'simmer' any time at all. You can access texts or photos whenever you feel like it and (ignore the myths!) both men and woman are visual and like looking at sexy things.

    But - and it's a big one - how do you stop your partner from showing their friends, or doing something even more ominous with them if the two of you split up?

    Here are some good guidelines:

    How to sext someone:

    - Hold off on initiating sexting until the relationship is a little more established and you've sussed out how adventurous they are sexually, especially if you're a girl texting a guy. Some guys love it, others will be shocked and you'll be instantly crossed off the potential long-term girlfriend list. Course, if you don't want to be a long-term girlfriend, text away!

    - It's easy to initiate a sext to someone you are having sex with, simply send a text saying "I keep thinking about us last night. It was so hot! I have an image of you that refuses to go away and it's making me feel so horny."

    - Make sure it's something they have to respond to. The obvious answer to the above text is "What am I doing in the image?" And off you go.

    - Even if you haven't had sex yet, you can still use the same approach: "I loved kissing you last night. You're such a good kisser! I can't wait to feel your mouth on other parts..."

    - You don't have to use swear words to sound sexy. Though if you're quite nicely spoken, throwing in the odd "I want to f***k you" with certainly get them going!

    - If you get caught out, claim a friend stole your phone and did it for a laugh. Or have a second phone with a secret number that can't be traced back to you.

    How to sext saucy pics safely:

    - You can screenshot on Snapchat, so it's not foolproof. The app claims to delete pics after mere seconds but it's still possible to screenshot images quickly and keep the evidence!

    - Know who you are sexting. I wouldn't text anyone you haven't been on at least five dates with. If your instincts tell you something isn't quite right, don't go there.

    - Keep it erotic rather than pornographic and remember a hint of something can be far sexier than showing everything.

    - Sexting is a bit like pillow talk. The pros of sexting - you can send on the spur of the moment when feeling particularly lusty - is also the downside. Lust is a powerful emotion when we're in the grips of it. When it wears off, what seems sexy at the time can feel either silly (best scenario) sleazy or perfect blackmail material (worst). The difference between saying something in the heat of the moment during sex is that it's gone the second you've said it. Pictures are more permanent.

    - A risk-free way of sending erotic pics to someone you don't know that well is to use a different phone. Buy a cheap one (and use pay-as-you-go), so the number can't be traced back to you.

    - Crop your head out of the photo so your face doesn't appear.

    - Photograph each body part separately so you are pretty much unidentifiable. Of course, this doesn't work if you have distinguishing features (and remember it's still coming from your phone number if you are using your normal phone).

    - Remember, doing the whole 'trade' thing doesn't work fairly female to male. He's going to be thrilled if you show pics of him naked to your mates. You, not so much.


    Add a comment
    1. Yes, please! Email me when there are more comments after mine
    2. We need to ask you a question to prove you're a human because evil spam computers keep abusing our form!

    Ask Tracey Cox a sex or relationship question