7 things to do with his (or her) bottom
Anal play, once taboo, is now standard sex play for lots of couples. Want to give it a go? Here are some ideas of where to start and what to do.
Go by the rules. This is important for any type of anal play. Start slow (as in the time between trying a finger and trying a penis is weeks, rather than the same session). Be gentle. Stop if it feels too painful. Always use anal lube because it's heavy duty, lasts longer and is more slippery.
Choose your time. There are right and wrong times to initiate anal play. And it’s not immediately after your partner’s just polished off a three-course gassy dinner, especially one containing Brussels sprouts! Many a lover's hand has been brushed aside while tentatively exploring, never to return again, not because their partner's weren't interested but because they were worried… well, you work it out.
Insert a finger. It’s safe but saucy, not too ‘out there’ but naughty enough to get the heart pumping, doesn’t hurt and feels amazing because there are highly sensitive nerve endings inside the rectum of both sexes. Simply apply some lube to your finger or your partner’s bottom and start by rubbing your fingertip gently around the rim of the anus until the muscles relax. Use the finger you point with to begin with, inserting it a tiny way, the waiting for the rectum to get used to this new, welcome, intruder. Keep inserting a little at a time and once it’s all in there, either make a ‘come-here’ stroking motion or make little circles.
Try a butt plug. It’s a non-threatening way to first explore and experience the highly arousing sensations produced by anal stimulation. Use the same steps as for a finger to insert it, then simply leave it there during oral sex or intercourse to add an erotic edge. Butt plugs make you feel pleasantly ‘filled up’, put pleasant pressure on everything else (the rectum shares a wall with the vagina) – and they get your bottom used to relaxing around an inserted object (just in case you decide to try anal intercourse).
Spank it. Bend them over your knee or do it during intercourse when you've got good access. Wait until they’re fully aroused (the more turned on we are, the more receptive we are to erotic ‘pain’), then cup your hand slightly, keep fingers together and administer a light spank in a slightly upward motion. If they seem to like it, you can then start to increase the force a little.
Try rimming. Rimming is licking the ‘rim’ of the anus and/or inserting a stiff tongue inside it. As you can imagine, some people find the thought outrageously sexy while others would rather cut their fingers off with a saw, one by one. If it appeals but you’re squeamish, cover the opening with a piece of cling film. (It stops infection as well and while we’re on the topic: don’t even think about rimming anyone who hasn't been given the all-clear for STIs.) You could also use an anal douche if you want the area to be squeaky-clean.
Play with toys. There are tons to choose from. Along with butt plugs, anal beads are great for beginners. Gently insert them, one by one, then pull out to stimulate all the many nerve endings inside the anus. They come in various sizes. If you like the feeling, try an anal prober or a vibrating butt plug.