The 7 Things She Wants You to Do this Valentine's - But Probably Won't Tell You
Want to make her Valentine’s Day really special?
Start by showing her you understand that women often have less incentive to have sex than men do.
It takes longer for us to get aroused, and orgasms aren't guaranteed so there’s less motivation to make the effort if we’re not gagging for it.
(Could you be bothered if you didn’t think there would be a happy ending?)
So, contrary to public perception, it’s actually more in our interest to mix things up and make sex more appealing than it is men’s.
Yet women are still very good at saying, “Oh no, I couldn’t possibly do that!’ when we’re secretly thinking, “God, that’s so hot! Please let him make me!”
It’s all based on a rather unhelpful mix of not wanting to upset and fearing we’ll be judged if we admit to wanting anything remotely ‘filthy’.
But if your partner won’t speak up, I will for her.
Below are the seven things she’d most love you to do in bed.
(All work for lesbian couples as well, by the way - with the added bonus that you can swap and repeat!)
1. Be brilliant at oral
As the joke goes, a bastard is a guy who makes love to you with a three-inch penis and kisses you goodbye with a six-inch tongue.
Whenever women are forced to choose between oral sex and intercourse in surveys, they invariably choose the tongue over the penis.
Get good at oral sex.
Very, very good, by repeating the following mantra after me: ‘Wet, slow, repetitive‘.
Firm is good, rough isn’t. Neither is constantly changing techniques or stopping the second you think we’ve come.
As a special treat, hold a small (but not too small) vibrator on her clitoris as you lick. The Supersex Pleasure Wand Vibrator is perfect.
2. Behave like a caveman
This is likely to go down especially well if she disappeared for hours around the time Fifty Shades of Grey was released (for the uninitiated, it involved a lot ordering about!).
Outside the bedroom, mind your manners; inside, be as bossy as you like. Pick her up, throw her on the bed, pull her to you and penetrate. Grab a handful of hair as you’re thrusting and pull it, bite her neck and breasts.
“I wish he/she’d just go for what he/she wants rather than be so tentative,” is a common female complaint about partners.
3. Write the alphabet on her clitoris
To stop her clitoris becoming over-stimulated during long oral sessions, try writing the alphabet with your tongue.
It keeps you amused and makes her nerve endings jump as you’re always focusing on a different part.
Some women are more sensitive on one side of the clitoris than the other, although most are unaware of it. This effectively takes care of that problem as well.
4. Give her the forks
She insists on having the lights off while you’re giving her oral? It’s dark down there and if she’s the polite sort, she's unlikely to tell you it’s her thigh you’ve been licking furiously for the last ten minutes, rather than her.
Fix it by getting her to make a ‘V’ with the first two fingers of one hand and placing them around the top of the vagina. All you need to do is aim high and lick in between for a direct hit to the clitoris.
This also works when she’s on top and you’re penetrated. You or she do the ‘V’ and let your penis slide in between. This stimulates her clitoris, inner labia and urethra, as well as making it more intense for you.
5. Let her sleep with a stranger
Indulge a popular female fantasy: sex with a stranger. Blindfold her. Tie her hands behind her back. Lead her into a dark room and leave her standing alone for a few minutes.
Then enter the room stealthily, come up behind her, and tell her you’re the hot guy/girl who’s fancied her from afar for weeks. Say you got her message that she has a boyfriend/girlfriend but would meet, just once, in this hotel room.
Don’t get all huffy when she’s turned on as hell - thinking isn’t doing, remember! If you are worried it’ll end up in a row, tie her up with the Supersex Soft Bondage Kit so she’s ‘forced’ to give in and enjoy and both of you can relax.
6. Spank her
Again, you can thank the snake-hipped, bonkers billionaire Christian Grey from Fifty Shades for spanking having been elevated to the top five female fantasy list.
But don’t even think about starting the session until she’s fully aroused. The more erotically aroused she is, the more likely she’ll be receptive to erotic pain.
Start with the cheek closest to you, cup your hand slightly, keeping your fingers together and spank in a slightly upward motion. Keep your wrist flexible to begin with then experiment by holding it rigid a little later on.
When she’s begging for you to touch her elsewhere, apply a little Supersex Orgasm Gel on and around the clitoris and finish her off with an expert hand job. And when she finds spanking is way more fun than she ever imagined, it makes her way more receptive to…
7. Try some anal play
This is definitely one of those things where shy girls squeal “Ew, no!” if you suggest it outright but are secretly thinking, “Hmm. I’m not letting him know but I am intrigued…”
Test her true feelings by letting your fingers casually trail between the cheeks of her bottom, touching the rim of her anus, while you’ve got her across your lap (see above).
If she lifts her bottom or presses against your hand, it’s a good indication she wants you to continue.
Apply some (handily close) Supersex Love Lube, continue stroking the opening and then insert the tip of your finger gently. Ask “Okay?” and if you get the green light, push your finger further inside and move around or gently in and out.
If she seems to like it, try some Supersex Glass Butt Plugs next time around. They’re cute, versatile and totally non-threatening.
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!
Want more? For a compilation of Tracey's top posts on sex tips, delve into the archives to check out Top 5 Sex Tips from Tracey Cox. For an etiquette refresher on Valentine's day cards and messages, check out Love Advice: 6 Make-Not-Break Tips for Surviving Valentine's Day.