• 'Sure thing' sex positions

    Sure thing sex positions blog

    This is for the 70-odd per cent of women who can't orgasm except through oral sex, masturbation or by using their trusty vibe.

    As much as orgasms are delicious any way you can get them, it would be nice to have one during intercourse, when he's having one, too!

    So the point of this piece is to help women shamelessly up their orgasm quota by using a combination of techniques to hit both internal and external hot spots.

    Get real

    Let's start by hedging our bets and mounting this campaign on two fronts: words and action.

    Like, how about we debunk the myth and let our partners in on the secret?

    You know, the one about the penis not actually being the almighty satisfier. Because it's... well, just not the case.

    Be honest. If you can only climax during intercourse when he's stroking your clitoris as well or holding a vibrator there, tell him!

    Explain that it's not his fault, but that lots of women are built this way. It's a matter of biology, nothing to do with the size of his penis or sexual technique.

    If he's got a problem, tell him to take it up with Mother Nature.

    Educate him

    Continuing along the same theme, does he know exactly where your clitoris is? Has he had a good look at it in broad daylight?

    It's dark down there and it's easy for him to lose his bearings as you change positions. I'm not suggesting you lie down spread-eagle on the kitchen table just as your neighbour drops by for coffee, but it is a good idea to have the lights on when he's giving you oral sex.

    Get him on side and clued up, then try your luck with these...

    Lie down

    Zap life into the laziest lying position by going head to toe.

    This one's simple as can be. He lies on his back. Facing his feet, straddle his hips and lower yourself onto his erect penis. Then extend your legs backward and lower your torso down until your feet are next to his head and you're lying on top of him. You're facing one way: he's facing the other. His feet are near your head: your feet are near his. Now try slow thrusting, so you can feel every inch of his penis as it slides slowly back and forth. This also helps 'pull' the labial lips, increasing friction around the clitoris.

    For a different type of clitoral stimulation, slide off him for a second, look him straight in the... feet (ie feel free to fantasise like crazy!), and use your hand to slide the head of his penis up and down to stroke your clitoris.

    Use your hand or his to continue to stimulate your clitoris manually while his penis is inside you - but stop just short of orgasm to let his thrusting trigger off the orgasm itself - and you've done what's officially called the 'bridge manoeuvre'. What this does is form a 'bridge' between clitoral stimulation (how most women orgasm) and a penetrative orgasm (how men would like them to).

    Get on top

    Women who can orgasm through penetration alone generally do it when they're on top.

    Ask him to sit up, his legs extended out in front of him. Climb on top, cowgirl style, and let him penetrate. Now fall back as far as you can until the top of your head is just resting on the bed. Reach backward until you can grasp his feet. Not only does your tummy look amazingly flat in this position, it's also easier to grind your pelvis against him, again providing much-needed friction.

    Another idea: instead of straddling him and resting on your knees, squat so your feet are on the bed (or floor). Stay leaning forward, then you do all the work - as in thrusting. The only way to do this is to lift your heels and use those thigh muscles. This position is bouncy, sexy sex - perfect for teasing him. Start with a fast up-and-down action before shifting gears and going for wide, circular motions, keeping your pelvises connected at all times.

    Your body is on full display so he gets to admire a full-frontal view and watch his penis go in and out (always up there on his Things I'd Like To Do Today list). You, meanwhile, achieve some much-needed pressure on the clitoris.

    Turn your back on him

    The front wall of the vagina is incredibly sensitive, which is why rear-entry feels great for women.

    Him-from-behind positions alter the angle of the vagina and give him a direct shot at your 'G-spot'. Try to arch your back as far as you can, widening your legs so his penis has perfect access.

    Give yourself a helping hand by reaching down to stimulate your clitoris and feel free to fantasise. There's no eye contact, so both of you can fantasise about anyone and anything you like (without feeling guilty when opening one eye to see your partner gazing lovingly at you!).

    Fantasy is another highly effective way to tip yourself over into orgasm when you're hovering on the brink and starting to worry you'll end up settling on the wrong side.

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