Five surefire ways to get your mojo back after menopause
The menopause is a bitch.
But when it comes to your sex life, there’s still a lot you can do to manage symptoms and come out on top - literally.
If you’re post-menopausal, it means there’s no nasty periods to contend with. The kids have all moved out so you can have sex when and where you want.
There are no pregnancy worries and you’re not afraid to ask for what you want.
Sex can be better than it was before, if you follow some simple advice.
Like everything in life, it’s your attitude toward what’s happening that counts the most.
Focus on the negatives - and I’m not about to tell you there aren’t any, there are! - and menopause can be miserable.
Focus on solutions and the pluses and it will be a totally different experience.
Women who have a healthy libido and are interested in keeping their sex life going, continue to have strong orgasms well into their 60s and 70s.
Perhaps because sex becomes less penetration focused, some women find they become multi-orgasmic post menopause.
And I’m not talking for your face.
Oestrogen levels drop during menopause.
The result? You’re more prone to urinary tract infections and sex becomes uncomfortable because the walls of the vagina are thinner, less elastic and drier.
In real terms, this means while you might have enjoyed a good, hard rogering in your 20s and 30s, it’s more likely to have you screaming for all the wrong reasons post 50.
Happily, there’s lots you can do to fix this one.
First up, invest in a vaginal moisturiser (like Replens - it’s not cheap but it works) and use lots of good-quality lubricant during sex.
If that doesn’t sort things, ask your GP about an oestrogen preparation to use locally (like Vagifem or others available as a cream, pessary or vaginal ring).
HRT (or natural alternatives) work
Opinion divides sharply on whether hormone replacement therapy is dangerous but a lot of the previous ‘evidence’ against it has since been discredited.
There are women who absolutely shouldn’t take HRT (see your GP for a full analysis and search online for natural alternatives if you don’t like the idea of taking synthetic hormones) but lots can.
And by God, does it make a difference.
HRT keeps the genitals in better condition, increases desire and vaginal lubrication - all of which makes sex one hell of a lot more appealing!
Reduce any health risks by taking the lowest dose you possibly can for the shortest period of time and try a gel, where you have more control over the dosage and can get it completely right for your personal needs.
Check your testosterone level
If your testosterone level is low - which can happen pre-menopause, as well as after because the levels fall with age - the urge for sex decreases substantially.
Replace what your body isn’t producing anymore and you could find your sex drive is back to what it was in your 30s.
No desire for sex is the most common sexual menopausal symptom.
A changing body shape, irritability and hot flushes don’t exactly encourage women to rip their clothes off and race into the bedroom, but low testosterone is often the main culprit of a low or non-existent libido post-menopause.
Make an appointment with your GP to get your testosterone levels tested and take it from there.
It’s not just your sex life that may benefit from the gel: low testosterone levels have been associated with Alzheimer’s disease and other memory problems, heart disease and lowered bone density.
Rub a very small amount into the inside of your thigh or tops of your arms daily and you can get results within two weeks to a month.
Have a different style of sex
As you’re struggling with your ageing dilemmas, he’s struggling with his: a lot of men over 50 have problems getting or maintaining erections.
This isn’t actually isn’t such a bad thing. If he takes longer to get aroused, it means you’re both likely to spend longer on foreplay, generally upping the arousal level for women.
Oral sex, using vibrators, stroking - all become more enjoyable as a result.
It’s almost a shame that Viagra means his ED is fixed in most cases!
Even if he does have ‘help’, sex is usually slower post-menopause, more playful and revolves less around intercourse being the main event.
All of which is actually very good news!