Women: make your orgasm last 179 times longer - Part 2
Imagine an orgasm that lasts a full 30 minutes, with occasional, deep contractions occurring up to 24 hours afterward.
This was the extraordinary promise of two American sexologists who pioneered and perfected what’s called the Extended Sexual Orgasms (ESO) technique in the ’80s.
Psychiatrist Alan Brauer and psychotherapist Donna Brauer claimed if you faithfully follow the four steps of their program, women are potentially capable of experiencing an orgasm of ever-increasing arousal lasting 30 minutes to an hour or more.
And guess what? If you put the effort in, the results truly are amazing. In Part 1, I talked you through Stage One, which is something you do solo.
Now it’s time to bring your partner on board (male or female - it doesn’t matter).
You lie down, they sit or kneel cross-legged beside or in between your legs and apply a good dollop of personal lubricant to the whole of your vagina and perineum (bit between your vagina and anus). Get them to lightly brush and stroke your genitals but (here’s the thing), they can stimulate everything except the clitoris or inside the vagina.
After at least five minutes of teasing, the stimulation moves to the clitoris. Get them to slowly and steadily circle the clitoris with a finger, travelling around it once per second. You, of course, provide lots of verbal feedback on what pressure and rhythm feels good.
As they continue to stimulate your clitoris, you start doing what you learnt during your kegel training. Flutter, slow clench and push-out as you breathe deeply from your stomach. If you’re doing everything right (and not spending so much time reading the instructions, you’re actually getting into it) an orgasm isn’t far away.
Get ready, because now here’s the complicated bit for your partner. As you feel you’re about to climax, they need to watch for regular two second contractions in your genital area. This means you’re about to orgasm.
Once these contractions start, they need to stop stimulating the clitoris and immediately move to stroking the inner vaginal walls. Using their fingers, they can either push them in and out or sweep them in circles in and out of the entrance.
If they concentrate on the front vaginal wall (the bit underneath your tummy), stroking with their fore and middle finger is another option. Most crucial of all, whichever technique they choose, the rhythm should be slow and regular.
After you’ve had your orgasm, they’ll feel the vagina start to draw back or pull away - the point when most couples stop.
In ESO, your first orgasm is only the beginning, remember?
So instead of stopping stimulation, they don’t stop stimulation for even a second but continue using their fingers inside the vagina, using a light touch.
When you give the green light you’re ready for more, they then up the frequency and pressure.
At the first sign of a pause in the vaginal contractions, your partner then moves quickly back to stroking the clitoris as before. If they continue to steadily circle the clitoris, this should trigger more contractions - at which point they move back to stimulating inside the vagina again.
They continue switching back and forth from vaginal to clitoral stimulation until your contractions occur every 1-5 seconds.
They should continue doing this for about 15 minutes until the ‘coming down’ period (when the vagina pulls away) occurs less and less frequently and the contractions start to become continuous. When the vagina pushes out in a continual wave-like motion, you’re in the final phase.
They now get into a position where they can use both hands (and keep their balance) to stimulate the clitoris and the vagina simultaneously.
The result: wave after wave of orgasms.
And to think you were going to give up!
Yes, it’s complicated and a lot of bloody effort and practice but get this right and it will open a totally different way of having orgasms that feel immeasurably more satisfying.
Let me know how you get on!