I have a good, adventurous sex life with my partner of seven years but I have one fantasy I long to indulge. It stems from a meeting I had with an old school friend I hadn’t seen for years. We were talking about marriage and how to keep it exciting and she told me she and her husband sometimes go to Amsterdam, window shop for a girl, then pay her to watch while they make love in front of her.
She said it kept their sex life alive and because there was a ‘just watch, don’t touch’ policy, they didn’t have problems with jealousy or any safe sex issues. I thought it was a brilliant idea but when I went home and told my partner, he was horrified and said it must mean they don’t love each other.
That was several years ago but I keep thinking about it. I want to ask my partner if he’d be up for trying it but I get the feeling he would take it to mean I didn’t love him. In my fantasy, I’d watch my partner go down on the girl, though that’s as far as it would go and I don’t want her to touch me.
Am I insane for wanting to take this through to reality? And how can I put it to my partner so he’ll either agree or at least not condemn me for it? I feel so strange about this. Help!
What advice do you have for guys like me who are fearfully shy in a bar situation? More often than not such bashfulness is taken as arrogance. As a guy, we are supposed to make the first move but, for me, it’s harder than you think!
I always seem to attract men who are already in relationships. Why and how can I tell early on that they’re already involved?
I've just started seeing a new man and after three weeks of playing around, we finally decided to have full sex except he couldn't get an erection. He still hasn't been able to and it's been a month. He told me this hasn't happened with anyone else, just me.
He also tells me he feels more for me than anyone he's ever gone out with and he's terrified he'll lose me because of this. I can't help but feel a little offended that I'm the only one he's ever had this problem with.
I have been with my girlfriend for five years and sex has become boring now that we live together. She loves me so much and really wants children but I'm scared we are just not compatible sexually.
I have an extremely high sex drive and like very kinky sex. I enjoy BDSM and worry I am much more open-minded than my girlfriend. I still really fancy her and masturbate whilst thinking of her doing kinky things with me. Can a relationship work long-term if you are both so differently sexually?
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now and we haven't had sex. He keeps pushing me for it and I just keep saying I'm not ready. I’m 18 and a virgin. Whenever we get in bed he always moves over to me but I just pretend I'm asleep. He said that whenever I say no it turns him on. I don't know what to do anymore. What can I do?
My boyfriend has gone off sex completely. He said it was because I put on weight. We didn’t have sex for over a year and although I’ve tried to talk to him about it, he just changes the subject. I’ve recently lost three stone and am slimmer now than when I first met him three years ago. I love him but I really miss sex and am trying very hard not to be tempted to look elsewhere. What can I do to make him get aroused by me again? Or am I wasting my time staying in a sexless relationship?
My partner and I want to stay together but we don’t see anything wrong with having sex with other people. I guess we want to have what people call an open relationship. Do you have any tips on how to negotiate this so there are no nasty surprises?
I’m 47 and suffer from erectile dysfunction. I’ve read widely about it and looked on the internet but I am not prepared to accept that it’s something I should be struggling with at my age. There doesn’t appear to be any obvious physical problem as my doctor says I am in perfect health.
Can you recommend a book that will give me the latest information and research on it, that’s not just full of generalizations?
I am about to go on a holiday with my girlfriends who are all married.
We’ve all been with our partners for ages and started talking about what would happen if any of us did anything naughty out there (ie had a one-night-stand) and decided if we adopted the male motto of ‘What happens on tour, stays on tour’ what would be the harm. What do you think?