Here it is in one sentence: act like a man.
In the brilliant book I Love Female Orgasm, author Dorian Solot points out what is blatantly obvious but ignored. That guys don’t lie back waiting hopefully for their partners to give them an orgasm during intercourse, they do whatever it takes to get themselves there.
Hands up who’d like more orgasms? How about more intense orgasms? Or more than one in a row? (After all, who stops at one biscuit? Or one chocolate? Or one glass of wine?)
Here are some clever but simple ideas to help you achieve all three.
Part one of 'How to talk about sex' detailed the basics of how to talk to your partner about sex in general. Now we’re talking specifics. Whether you want more of something, a technique done differently or are aching to share that fantasy, here’s how to get things started…
How do I tell my lover what I want without offending them? This is one of the sex questions I’m asked the most. In the beginning, when you’re shagging yourselves silly, talking about sex is easy. In fact, most of us don’t shut up about it. It’s only when things go wrong that we clam up. Not so much fun talking about sex when you’re not up for it, not having it or hate doing it!
This is for the 70-odd per cent of women who can't orgasm except through oral sex, masturbation or by using their trusty vibe.
As much as orgasms are delicious any way you can get them, it would be nice to have one during intercourse, when he's having one, too!
Fast, frenzied sex will do many nice things for your relationship. It reminds you both how much you are attracted to each other on a purely physical basis and it's unplanned, impulsive sex that keeps the 'Aren't we naughty?' buzz alive.
There is no argument against the fact that quick sex, rather than no sex, keeps you connected as a couple.
Here's how to make it good sex as well!
There's nothing sexier than a hotel room - which is why more than 50 per cent of couples say they're far more likely to have sex on holiday than at home.
We're also more likely to have adventurous sex - which usually means packing props like hot lingerie and some of your favourite sex toys.
Anyone who has ever travelled with a sex toy in their hand luggage usually has a story to tell - most involving gleefully mischievous (or downright nasty) security staff who tend to pounce, then parade them for all to see.
The good news is there have been a few incidents of staff humiliating passengers who've pressed charges so it's less likely to happen than before.
But never say never: board embarrassment-free by following these simple tips.
If you were to film a standard sex session, 95 per cent of men would be thrusting in the conventional way: in-out-in-out (yawn and repeat). Same speed, same depth, same hip motion, same bloody everything.
Like or loathe spiritual sex, ancient Hindu text the Kama Sutra can never be accused of dishing out dreary advice.
Here to the rescue of the average bored couple are lots of different thrusting techniques to choose from.
I’ve written these from a straight couple perspective but some (not all) will work for anal intercourse (avoid the deep and fast moves) or pegging (her penetrating him wearing a harness and dildo).
Some sex toys work even better when used together while others used simultaneously are, well, a little too much stimulation.
Which combos work and which don’t? Here’s a list of what I think are perfect pairings.
While obviously pleasure is very much a personal thing, if you can see two items on the list that are both stimulation favourites for you, then it's likely both together will be mind-blowing!
This post covers top twosomes to use to pleasure her, while the next post will look at doubling up on toys to skyrocket his experience.
(PS: Don’t forget that lube goes with just about everything!)
You can't expect you and your partner's sex drives to always be revved up at a mattress-scorching 100%, and it follows that you can't expect to always be sexually in tune.
However, that doesn't mean you have to rest on your laurels and watch your sex life fade into dust. If you think a short-term libido dip is turning into a long-term issue, or if you're looking to please her and don't know where you're going wrong, you've come to the right place!
The second part of the 'SOS' series, this time we're focusing on fix-it's for him to solve her sex dilemmas.