Couples with the healthiest sex lives have all kinds of different sex: lusty sex, playful sex, make-up sex and loving sex.
These five sex positions work well when you're feeling particularly loved- up - but also like a leg-over.
Love and lust, romance and raunch: the perfect mix for great sex!
My final blog in the anal sex series talks specifically about any problems or issues you might have with anal play. I’d strongly suggest you also re-read the other three blogs (Part 1: Anatomy, Prep and Protection, Part 2: Fingering and Rimming or Anal Sex Prep Guide: Part 3: Positions and Techniques) for further clues as to what else might be causing problems.
My partner won’t even consider anal play because they think it’s kinky!
It’s not got the best reputation, anal play or anal sex. Guys think it means they’re gay if they enjoy it, plenty of people think it’s unhygienic and very few admit to liking it, even after a few down the pub.
But a little anal play has transformed many a stale sex life simply because it feels entirely different to anything else you’ve experienced sexually. For that reason alone - the intense novelty of it - it’s well worth exploring in some form.
Giving great oral is part attitude, part technique and a whole lot about enthusiasm. These are my top 10 tips for a magical combination of all three.
1. It's a treat not a chore. Act like giving him a BJ is a huge favour and something you're dreading doing, and no matter how skilful your tongue techniques, it's not going to work.
2. It's what you do before the BJ that counts. The more foreplay and teasing he's had, the more sensitive he'll be. Just as you hate him diving straight for the clitoris, he hates you pouncing immediately on his penis. Kiss and stroke everywhere, glide up the inside of his thighs, pay attention to the area of his tummy his erect penis sits on, and bite his neck and his lips.
3. Pick your position. Being able to watch is all part of the male fixation on fellatio: men are erotic visualists. Kneel in front of him and hold eye contact during oral. The worst position of all is the one most women go for: lying beside him on the bed. He can't see anything, it's awkward and you can't use both hands.
This is the third in my anal sex series, so if you haven’t read the previous two blogs, I’d strongly recommend reading both Part 1: Anatomy, Prep and Protection, and Part 2: Fingering and Rimming beforehand to make sure you’re fully prepared.
Anal penetration isn’t one of those ‘I know, let’s try this today!’ type of sex acts! It’s something you need to have really thought about and ‘trained’ for. So don’t attempt this until you’ve done your homework.
This guide can be used to penetrate with both a real penis or the strap-on variety.
The 6 Secrets to Successful Anal Intercourse
- Be safe. Use lots of good-quality anal lube, use good-quality condoms or both get tested for STIs.
- Don't double dip. Never go straight from anal intercourse to vaginal intercourse without washing thoroughly first. It transfers all sorts of things into the wrong places.
It sticks to itself, won’t rip off hair or skin, is simple to use, comfy to wear and a hell of a lot less intimidating than metal handcuffs or rope. Best of all - it’s not only cheap, you can re-use it!
That's why we love bondage tape - for its brilliant versatility!
Try a Tie-up and Tease Game
You don’t need any knot-tying skills to use bondage tape so you can tie your partner up quickly and easily - just make sure you don’t wrap it too tightly. The aim is to tie them up comfortably, not cut off their circulation.
To tie wrists together:
- Decide if you want their hands tied in front of them, behind their back or held high above their head.
- Wrap the tape around one wrist first, going completely around it, then wrap both wrists together. The insides of the wrists should face each other.
Kegel exercises aren’t just a brilliant way to keep your pelvic floor muscles in peak condition, nothing works better to repair and strengthen the vagina and pelvic floor during pregnancy and after the trauma of birth. Kegels are easy, effective and guaranteed to reduce the negative effects of childbirth.
When to do kegels
Ideally, you’d start doing pelvic floor exercises immediately after you find out you’re pregnant (if you aren’t already doing them for general pelvic health) and continue after the birth for at least a few years.
Do them regularly and properly and they could mean reduced pushing time during labour - the stronger your muscles are, the better able you are to help speed the birth.
Both pregnancy and childbirth can stretch and weaken the pelvic floor causing urinary incontinence (peeing when you don’t want to) or uterine prolapse, neither of which are on anyone’s ‘Yes please!’ list.
Hearts and flowers have their place in relationships, but sometimes nothing compares to that animalistic, spur-of-the-moment satisfaction that comes from an off-the-hoof encounter. Spontaneous playtimes can make for some of the most exciting and passionate sessions, as you neatly sidestep your 'standard' sexual routine by beginning fully clothed or improvising positions in a new room.
What do you do when you’re both desperate to rip each other’s gear off and get down to it? Skip the foreplay (just this once) and get yourself into one of these hot sex positions.
Part one in this series talked about how to prepare for anal sex. This blog takes a look at techniques for inserting fingers or tongues (rimming). For simplicity's sake, I've written this from the perspective of the person who's doing it to someone else. I talked about the importance of using a good-quality lube in Part 1, so do make sure you have some handy!
USING YOUR FINGERS
This is often most people's first experience of anal play and it's a useful place to start because you can feel what you're doing.
Some basics before you go there: clean hands and trimmed nails are a must. Remove all rings. Also consider wearing some gloves (latex or non-latex). It not only protects both of you from STIs but some people quite enjoy indulging the 'naughty doctor or gynaecologist' fantasy!
Men arouse quickly, so he'll respond well to spontaneous sex surprises. Treat him to at least one of these a week and he'll be anything but putty in your hands!
WAYS TO GET HIM HARD
Feel him up in public. Choose a restaurant that has long tablecloths, unzip him and give him a discreet but delicious mini-hand-job (minus the happy ending, obviously.)
Snog him sexily in front of his friends. It makes him look and feel like a rock god for his friends to see how much you want him.
Let him see you. He’s a natural voyeur so choose positions where he can see your breasts bouncing up and down, or let him open your legs wide to see your vulva before giving you oral.
Put your fingers inside yourself. Do this while he’s watching or let him insert a vibrator, a dildo or some love eggs. Men like seeing things disappear inside – and not just his penis.
Latex and sex go together as naturally as bacon and eggs. It’s inexpensive and can take a so-so sex life to scorching hot in seconds!
Why do people love latex so much? Where do I start?
First up, it’s shiny and second-skin tight. So tight, people often look ‘naked’ in it, so anyone with an exhibitionistic streak is an instant fan.
Shiny, tight clothes are also often worn by sex workers, so latex is associated with being (deliciously) slutty.
It’s restrictive – which makes it perfect for B & D role-play and fantasies. That's one reason why it’s a huge hit with fans of Dominant/submissive sex.
Some people find the smell of it a turn on and because it’s smooth and shiny, latex lends itself nicely to various role play costumes, taking standard outfits like ‘policewoman’ or ‘French maid’ to a whole different level.