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    the 12 reasons you're having an affair

    January is a month of reflection - and decisions. If your relationship finished in a decidedly messy state at Christmas, the start of a New Year offers just the incentive you need to sort things out.

    Stopping that affair, for instance.

    Mira Kirshenbaum, one of my favourite US relationship experts, is the author of When Good People Have Affairs.

    It’s one of few books written for people who are involved in affairs, and don’t know what to do, that doesn’t beat them about the head with a stick.

    Mira identifies 17 different types of affairs in the book - which have inspired some of the reasons below. (Others are my own observations or based on current research.)

    If you’re having an affair and need to make some tough decisions this year, this should help clarify your motives and offer practical advice on what to do next.

    New Year Sex and Relationship Detox

    A new year means a brand new start - and the chance to get rid of all those bad habits that plagued you in 2017.

    Here’s some achievable ways to give your sex and love life a fresh, sparkling start to 2018.

    what counts as cheating these days?

    In these sexually politically correct times, it’s a brave man who tried to steal a kiss under the mistletoe at the office party.

    Which is a shame because a kiss is so innocent, right? A kiss means nothing. Certainly nothing you should be going home and confessing to your partner.

    At this point, anyone reading this will have firmly stepped into one of two camps.

    The first: She’s right! A kiss is nothing to get wound up about!

    The second: Of course a kiss means something. It’s cheating!

    We all might be hyper aware of what’s OK to do and what’s not in work situations but the lines of what’s considered cheating or not, remain as blurred as ever.

    Which is why I thought it timely to revisit what most people consider cheating and what most people don’t. Here’s a (by no means exhaustible) list of possible emotional and physical betrayals - diving in at the deep end.

    how-to-not-electro-sex

    Would you let an electric current flow through your genitals if it felt good or helped tighten your pelvic floor?

    Didn’t think so – but never say never. Plenty of people are doing just that by experimenting with electro sex toys.

    Given that lots of UK women are reluctant to use a vibrator that plugs into the mains (despite them being perfectly safe), it comes as no surprise to learn that sales of electro sex toys here are relatively modest.

    But that may be about to change...

    What's Fact and Fiction About Anal Sex?

    Around 20 to 35 per cent of Western couples try anal intercourse, compared to about five to ten per cent a decade earlier.

    It might have jumped from ‘taboo’ to ‘tempting’ but the myths surrounding anal sex remain.

    What’s is fact and what’s fiction?

    Let’s debunk a few of the most common myths once and for all!

    7 Innocent Items In Your Bedroom That Kill Your Sex Life

    They look innocent enough but these every day items wreak havoc on the average couple’s sex life. Banish them from your bedroom and you’re instantly in store for better, more frequent sex!

    could faking it help you have a real orgasm?

    The answer, surprisingly, is yes!

    Up to 80 percent of women fake orgasms at some point, according to research - and that might not be a bad thing.

    Turns out some women fake it in order to make it a real orgasm happen. Researchers surveyed 481 heterosexual females, all sexually active but not in serious relationships.

    The results, published in The Journal of Sexual Archives, threw up the usual, predictable reasons for faking - but also a surprising one.

    8 penis myths - busted!

    No other part of the human body is more shrouded in myth and folklore than man’s most precious part - the penis.

    There are so many stubborn myths surrounding those six inches (except it’s actually not six inches), even savvy sexual people believe ‘facts’ that simply aren’t true.

    40 things I wish I'd know about love and men when i was 20

    So you liked my post ’50 things I wish I’d known about sex when I was 20’?

    Lots of you clicked on it and I’m so pleased!

    Given the popularity, I thought I’d do the same concept but apply it to love instead of lust.

    Here’s the end result!

    Everyone of every sexual orientation will learn something from this piece but it’s especially for all the young women who write to me asking for love advice.

    This is for you.

    Everything I wish I’d known myself, back in the day!

    what women wish men knew about sex

    Ever wish you came with a set of instructions that you could just hand over to your lover?

    Well, here’s a list I’ve started for you. Customise and add... and keep on adding throughout your relationship.

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