Most men are quite practised at masturbating by age 12 or 13.
But even if you’ve brought yourself to orgasm a thousand times, I bet you’ve done it pretty much the same way almost every single one of those.
Truth is, the more you experiment with different techniques and varying sensations, the more in control you’ll be of your orgasms – solo and with a partner.
Masturbation isn’t and shouldn’t be something you do simply to ease tension. It’s an experience to be enjoyed for its own merits.
Next time, how about you…
Add proper lube
Most men reach for some sort of lubricant before taking matters into their own hands – but you aren’t too fussy about what you use.
Soap, shampoo, baby oil, hand cream, Vaseline, your girlfriend’s super-expensive face cream; it’s whatever you can lay your hands on.
Switch to a personal lubricant that’s designed specifically for the purpose of making sex feel better and you’ll notice a world of difference.
A good quality lube lasts longer, feels more slippery and makes everything you do feel a trillion times better than it already does.
Add a stroker
When Lovehoney first suggested I include ‘strokers’ – a sleeve, often silicone, that you use to masturbate – in my ranges, they sent me a selection for my male friends to try out.
“No-one’s ever going to use those!”, I said. “They’re just weird”.
But I dutifully handed them over to my equally sceptical male friends -only to receive phone calls from each and every one of them within about 15 minutes of them being home alone.
“You’re not getting this back. Don’t call me for at least two days,” was the standard response.
They didn’t just like the strokers, they absolutely LOVED them!
If you haven’t tried one, get one.
They’re inexpensive, simple to use (just put tons of lube inside, take a firm grip and then slide up and down over your penis) and feel amazing.
When you’re done playing, hand it over to your partner to use on you to transform a so-so hand-job into a top notch treat.
Add some anal
Gone are the days when I’d have to hastily add ‘and no it doesn’t mean you’re gay if you enjoy anal stimulation’.
The anus is packed with super-charged nerve endings that feel great when stimulated, so why wouldn’t you give it a whirl?
Start by inserting a butt plug before masturbating and see how you like it; if you do, there are many prostate massagers to choose from that will buzz you into a whole new world of sensational solo sex.
Try a new technique
In the same way that women tend to concentrate on their clitoris, most men will eventually focus on the frenulum (the ‘frilly’ bit where the shaft and head meet).
The shaft is relatively insensitive and serves more to let your hand move up and down rhythmically.
As your hand moves up and over the frenulum, try using a rolling action with your fingers and palm, manipulating the area firmly.
Or try holding a finger still over the frenulum and moving your other fingers and thumb over the front of the penis in a smaller movement.
Twisting also feels good: grip the base of your penis with one hand, pulling the foreskin taut (if you have one) and twist your other hand up and down the shaft.
Use plenty of lube!
Add a penis ring
Penis or cock rings go around the base of the penis and stop the blood escaping: this means you stay harder for longer and stimulation feels more intense.
Vibrating penis rings are designed to be used with a female partner to work on the clitoris during intercourse but turn the vibrator around and they rather effectively work on your testicles – a bonus for solo sex.
Play games with yourself
Practise control over your orgasms by forcing yourself to go super slowly; or try letting yourself get almost to the stage of ejaculation, then stopping for a bit until you calm down, then building up again.
This technique is called ‘edging’ or ‘peaking’ and it doesn’t just feel good, it helps you control when you ejaculate.
If you want to get serious about this, download my free Edge Stamina app (apple only, sorry!) which has full instructions and training aids.
Get your partner to watch…
…especially if you’re straight because most women aren’t confident about their hand-job skills.
Giving her a front-row seat to see how you do it to yourself, isn’t just hot, it gives her some welcome tips!