Just as there are certain sex acts that shouldn’t be missed, there are places you should have been naked in.
These are my pick of the top 10 places to have sex (though I’m looking forward to seeing where else gets the vote!).
Tick ‘Yes!’ to six and over of the following sexy settings and you’re officially adventurous, four shows healthy experimentation, three is usual – and anything under inexcusable!
You could slip into the backseat and enjoy relative privacy but it’s far, far, sexier to do it on the car hood. You sit on the bonnet, he stands in front of you.
Given Winter’s on the way, you might want to save this one for summer (though there’s always a heated garage?)
ON THE WASHING MACHINE
Time it when the washing machine is on spin cycle and it turns into a seat-size vibrator.
This was the inevitable scene of our first snog back in our parent’s day; the advent of ‘posh’ cinema’s which have ‘beds’ means couples are getting up to all sorts under those (rather convenient) cashmere blankets provided.
ON THE BALCONY OF A HOTEL
Because hotels are the settings of most affairs, the urge to be naughty when staying in one is high. If you’re abroad and anonymous, you’re more likely to do something risky – which is why that night-cap on the balcony to ‘finish off the evening’ often leads to both of you finishing off each other instead.
ON A SWING
You wear a long, loose skirt and no knickers, he stands in front, holds the sides of the swing seat firmly, draws you to him and stands still while swinging you to and fro.
All the thrill and none of the hassle of installing one of those ‘sex swings’ at home (not quite as easy as the manufacturers pretend!)
IN THE SUN
Some claim the only time our bodies are truly at peace is when the sun beats down on us because the sun’s and body’s biorhythms are the same.
But it’s not just the rays that make sex in the sun unbeatable: people wearing next to nothing provides a feast of flesh and a tan makes even the body-conscious feel good about being naked.
In water, we’re gloriously weightless. Everything feels light (thin) and buoyant in mood and body (not to mention thin). Sex on the water’s edge makes us feel like we’re starting in From Here to Eternity, nearly everyone’s had some kind of (usually drunken) hot tub experience and swimming pools, innocent as they appear, provided many women with their very first orgasm. We’d position the jet of water to hit the spot and quietly climax.
(Avoid having intercourse in a hot tub though – they’re great for playing around but get out before there’s penetration. They are a hotbed for bacteria!)
IN THE COUNTRY
This was surely how it’s supposed to be: two humans, making babies without the trappings in the glorious outdoors. If you’re under the shelter or a tree, the rain makes it even more cosy and intimate.
IN A TENT
Tents are a brilliantly low-risk way to have public sex: ask any regular festival goer!
There’s nothing but a sheet of canvas separating you from the outside world and being able to hear what’s going on outside, adds to the excitement.
Hell, even having sex in a tent in your garden is kind of sexy. What would the neighbours think?
The thrill of being scared and turned on is (for some), an irresistible combination. Having sex in a forbidden or creepy place adds a new level of exhilaration to your love life, whether it’s a deserted park at night, a disused house in the country or even a graveyard.
Having sex in a graveyard IS the ultimate bad thing to do – which is why lots of people do it. Whether you come prepared with a few home comforts such as a torch, blanket or even a pillow is up to you!
SIDEBAR: WARNING! WARNING!
A word of caution before you consider anything alfresco: not everyone will be as entranced at the sight of your partner’s bare bottom pumping up and down as you are.
Not being able to control your surroundings is all part of the thrill – but being arrested for cavorting in public isn’t quite the kick most of us are after.
So be sensible. Leave as many clothes on as possible and plan your escape and what to say if you get caught before you attempt it.
Don’t do it if being caught would be an absolute nightmare or lead to arrest and be aware of the laws in the country you’re in. Having sex on a beach in Dubai, for instance, is not a terribly good idea.