Having your partner strip for you is a top fantasy for both men and women – but lots of us baulk at fulfilling it.
Why? We’re not only body conscious, we’re worried we’re going to look like a complete idiot.
To ensure this doesn’t happen, I interviewed a London-based dancer and stripper who helped me put together this idiot-proof strip routine for women to follow. (Sorry guys, but if you watch Magic Mike, you’ll find plenty of inspiration!)
It’s tried and tested and gets a BIG thumbs up by straight couples and my gay female friends.
Go on…you know you want to!
10 golden rules
You’re allowed to touch them but they’re not allowed to touch you. Not with hands, mouth, tongue or penis. Only eyes and imagination are allowed to roam.
You must maintain eye contact throughout the performance.
Keep the lights on. This is all about showing off your body, not hiding it. Sexy is all about how you feel: all you need to pull this off is confidence and attitude. Sexy isn’t defined by size.
Slather on some stuff. Fake tan (you’ll feel more confident with a bit of colour), lip gloss (slightly smeared), blusher (around your nipples to make them look more defined), a slight slick of baby oil on your body for sheen.
Plan your outfit Heels, stockings and suspenders and sexy knickers and push-up bra are obvious choices. A G-string suits the mood of a striptease best but it’s far more important you feel sexy in whatever underwear you choose. Top it with a silky shirt, pencil skirt, jacket and heels.
Don’t be a neat freak. You’re supposed to be throwing your clothes off with abandon. Stopping to put your skirt on a hanger, carefully fold your top or hang your jacket behind the door ruins the effect somewhat (don’t laugh – it happens). Leave everything where you throw/drop it.
Think the three T’s. Tempt, tantalise, tease. During the entire performance, parade around, walk up and down, flirt, flick your hair around, gyrate your body. Be their private dancer.
Your hands are their hands. Touch yourself the way they want to touch you, in places they want to touch. Go for it. The way you touch yourself also sets the mood for the strip. You can keep it light and quite innocent by touching yourself innocently (tentatively but getting more confident and enjoying it as the strip goes on). Or you can get wickedly down and dirty from word go.
Nick a dancer’s trick. Keep one leg in front of the other, heel lifted, whenever possible. It makes otherwise awkward poses look elegant (and your legs and body look long and lean). It’s also great for photographs (check out any shot of Liz Hurley: she’s got it nailed!)
Choose the music to suit your mood. The music should suit the mood of the strip you’re planning on. Soft and sultry for a seductive tease; rock or pop for a raunchier role.
10 killer moves
Walk the walk
Get them to sit on the sofa. Then simply parade about a bit, strutting your stuff. Mentally visualise a figure of eight and make your hips follow. Place one foot directly in front of the other when you walk and you’ll see how easy it is! Chest out. Head up. Think proud and sassy. It’s all about attitude!
Tease with a scarf
A long, silky scarf is a good alternative to the stripper’s feather boa. Treat it the way you would your partner. Sometimes rough, sometimes gentle. Be nice first: run the scarf seductively through your hands, then bring over your shoulders and slide from side to side, arching your back at the same time (stomach in, breasts out). Then nasty: pull it tight and yank it between your hands above your head, as though it’s going to be used to tie them up later. Which, if they’re good, it will be. Scarves are fantastic props: use it as a blindfold, put it around their neck to draw them close. For now, drop it, but leave it within reach to pick up and play with later on.
Remove your jacket.
Make sure you’ve got your back to them, then look back over your shoulder, maintaining eye contact. Unbutton it while facing away, then shrug your shoulders sexily so the jacket slides down your shoulders in one deliciously slippery motion. Now, turn around a little so they can see a bare shoulder exposed. From then on it’s a wriggle thing: wriggle and shrug your upper body until the jacket falls down your shoulders onto your arms. Then remove one arm at a time but DON’T drop it! Keep the jacket covering your bra and breasts.
Keep the good bits covered for as long as possible, so don’t flash it all too quickly. Once your arms are out of the jacket, hold it over your breasts with both hands and then… turn around to face them. That’s the time to remove the jacket from your breasts with one hand and drop it to the floor.
Off goes the skirt .
Again, do this with your back to them, look over your shoulder and maintain eye contact. Unzip your skirt as slowly as possible, sticking your bum out and arching your back as you do. Ideally, you’re wearing a tight pencil skirt that’s lined in a slippery fabric so it slides down and off your hips the minute you let it go. While the jacket removal was slow and tantalising, the skirt should be off in one quick, smooth motion. Once it’s on the floor, step out of it and leave it there.
And the high heels.
There’s not really an elegant way to remove your shoes but the whole effect is instantly ruined if you’re having to stop, lean over and fiddle with straps so choose slip ons. Now, simply lift your leg up behind you, lean down and use your hand to remove the shoe as elegantly as possible. (Put the shoes back on when you’re completely naked).
Slide off your stockings.
A new position for this one: side view. Position yourself so you’re side on, maintain eye contact and put one leg up on a chair, step or piece of furniture. Undo the suspender belt first (obviously), then roll down the stockings using both hands, one on each side of your leg. Keep it nice and slow and keep rolling down until your hands are on your ankle. (Arse high in the air, of course!) Once you’ve slipped the stocking off your heel, remove from your foot with your finger and thumb then use it as a prop to drape around his neck.
Ping the suspender belt.
Simply unclip and ping it across the room with as much finesse as you can possibly muster!
Bra-less and brazen.
Stripping is a bit like unwrapping a present when the prize inside is you. Every time you peel off a piece of clothing, they’re closer to seeing what’s hidden inside, so draw this one out as much as possible. Face them, then shrug the straps off nice and slowly. Then turn around, look over your shoulder and undo the bra but (as you did with the jacket) hold it over your breasts. Turn to face them, hold one arm across your chest, holding the bra in place, then use your other hand to pull the bra out from beneath, nice and slowly. Drop the bra but keep one arm still covering your breasts. Then take your arm away, stroking your fingers across the breast as you go. Now’s when you go into full stripper mode: back arched, breasts out. Play with and touch them, lifting them in both hands, kneading the nipples. Don’t forget: you’re doing what they’d like to do but aren’t allowed to.
Next – the knickers!
Put your hands (palms facing your legs) completely inside the straps at the side so you’re lifting them up and away from your legs. Give them a side on view, then slide your hands and knickers down your body, keeping them lifted away from your body. As your hands move down, your body follows. Once your knickers are past your knees, they should fall down to your feet. Step one foot out of them at a time.
Take a victory lap.
You did it! Parade around, touching and caressing your body until they can’t take it anymore – and need to take you instead.