How to have a 69er that’s satisfying

Want to sort your sex life – fast? This is the third in a series of blogs designed to transform your love life with instant, easy fixes for common couple sex complaints.

The concept of receiving and giving pleasure at the same time sounds ridiculously inspired but the sad truth is, the fantasy nearly always exceeds the reality of a 69er.

It involves major multi-tasking and a certain degree of unselfishness – which is why one person tends to get the better end of the deal.


If they do their job well, the other person gets so lost in it, they tend to forget they’re supposed to reciprocate, drifting off into a heavenly licky-la-la land until an indignant shove of the hips makes it impossible to ignore what’s staring you in the face.

Men tend to like 69ers more than women – probably because they’re more comfy with their bits, less squeamish about having bottoms so close to their nose and don’t have to concentrate as hard to orgasm.

But women aren’t too hard to talk into one: after all, they involve one of our most favourite things – receiving oral sex!

Make your next 69er more satisfying for both of you by:


You don’t both have to lick at the same time – try one of you using their mouth, the other using their hands.


If you’re on top straddling their chest, them holding your hips, try rounding your back, so it makes it easier for them to reach you. Or put pillows underneath their head.

If it’s a man on top, wrap your hands around his penis to help control how fast and deep he goes in your mouth.


Make sure you’re comfortable and your neck is supported so you’re not craning. Nothing worse than your neck muscles going into spasm just at the crucial moment!

Use your hands to control the person on top so you don’t feel suffocated. Have a code tap – twice on the bottom? – if your partner gets carried away and has a habit of nearly squashing you the more excited they get!


This sorts a lot of problems and works especially well if he’s licking her! She lies so her head points toward your feet. Get her to bend her top leg back so her knee is in the air and foot flat on the bed. This creates a triangle with her legs and means you can rest your head on her bottom thigh while you lick her.


This works especially well for two women or a woman and a man. Instead of the ‘one on top, one below’ formation, both lie head to toe but on your sides, then rest your heads on each other’s thighs as you relax and settle in for a long, lazy sensual session.

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