Ditch the Easter Egg hunt and head to bed instead this long weekend. Follow this step-by- step guide to deliver a supersized orgasm – one for him, one for her!
Give him the best orgasm he’s ever had
Yes, we all know the joke says simply handing him a beer and taking off your clothes will do the trick.
But we’re after a super-sized orgasm here, so start with the beer and nakedness and add a whispered promise that he doesn’t have to do anything: just take.
He’s in heaven already.
Ask him to masturbate while you watch. Especially watch where he first places his hand at the start – that’s exactly where you place yours when you take over the hand-job. (It may sound unimportant, but that’s the key to accurately mimicking the motion).
Also pay attention to how firm and fast his grip is. If he’s practically strangling the thing without wincing, your best bet to deliver an earth-shattering ‘O’ probably isn’t through intercourse.
Kegel all you like but unless your day job is shooting out ping pong balls in a sex bar, it’s still unlikely your vagina will rival the grip of a tightly-closed, fiercely-yanking fist.
If that’s how he did it, do him in reverse. Start with intercourse – jump on top and let him penetrate for a few, short, exquisite minutes while you squeeze and pump your pelvis muscles around him – then jump off and finish him off, using your hand (gripping hard) and mouth together.
If his grip wasn’t too hard, fellate him first before jumping on top to let him penetrate. Don’t bounce up and down, instead rock back and forth, rubbing your clitoris against his pelvis.
Most guys have one particular ‘added extra’ which really does it for them. It might be ball play, a finger inserted up his bottom just before orgasm, pressing hard on the perineum, tweaking or biting a nipple, hearing you talk dirty, watching porn, being tied up, or something else entirely. If he won’t come right out and tell you, try the lot (with his permission, and perhaps not all in one go) and see which he most responds to. As well as finding out his favourite, you’ll probably add a few others to his list.
The longer the build-up, the better the orgasm for both sexes. Tease him mercilessly and don’t forget to moan when he finally does climax to show it’s almost as much of a turn-on for you watching him get there as it is for him to get there.
Award yourself a huge, shiny gold star if you can make yourself orgasm at the same time as you’re letting him take, take, take (guilt-free), simply by humping his leg.
Give her the best orgasm she’s ever had
So if passing you a beer and getting naked whets your whistle, what does it for her? Well, you could try turning up with a bottle of champers and a sexy new vibrator. Failing that, flowers and a wicked glint in your eye should do the trick.
Your theme word for the beginning bit is ‘sexual adoration’. Nothing turns us on more than our bodies being admired – with your eyes, with your trailing fingertips, or sometimes when your touches becoming less gentle and restrained as you finally get your hands on your favourite parts.
Nothing is sexier than watching someone’s eyes change as lust rudely elbows desire out of the way, so let her see this. You love watching us lose control, and guess what: we love seeing you do it.
Undress her, but stay dressed yourself. Kiss and lick through her underwear – don’t just rip it off, but tease through it, push it to one side, and make sure you play. Before removing her bra, kiss her neck and then grab a handful of her hair and pull it (gently), make eye contact, then deliver a good, deep, long kiss.
Massage her breasts, kiss her neck again, then move south, pooling saliva in your mouth as you go, so your first lick on her vulva will be soft, gentle and slippery. Smell her, moan, then move into swishing and licking your tongue around her clitoris. Meanwhile, slide one finger inside her, then two if she reacts favourably.
If she’s really really moaning, turn her over on her tummy and pushing your hand through her legs, keep gently rubbing her clitoris (remembering to add lube if she’s a little dry), and lick around her anus. Just as you have your ‘thing’, she has hers. This just might be rimming. If she pushes her bottom up to you, keep going. If she pulls away, simply stroke her bottom while you’re playing with her clitoris, kiss her neck and then turn her over again.
Put her fingers in your mouth, lick them, then push them down so she’s touching herself. See if she takes the hint and starts masturbating so you can see a specific style she likes. You should have an idea by now which she’s more into – a slightly rougher lusty style of sex or the soft, gentle sort. Choose an intercourse position accordingly.
Take her from behind if she seems to crave an animal approach, making sure you’re paying lots of attention with your hands to her breasts, massaging them and pulling at her nipples. When her breathing becomes ragged, add some lube (strategically placed beforehand) and use your fingers to slide up and down between her labia, grazing her clitoris while you continue to thrust. Sometimes she’ll push your hand away and do it herself – let her. If she doesn’t, just be careful not to go too hard as your orgasm approaches.
If this all seems a bit too racy for your partner, instead opt for a sexy spoon position, penetrating from behind (get her to lift her bottom high to allow it). It’s intimate because there’s full body contact but your hands are free to stroke her breasts, her tummy and (of course) deliver the much needed clitoral action. Kiss her neck and say ‘You feel so beautiful. I love being inside you’.
Stop before you’re too close to coming, withdraw, and go back to licking her. Keep licking until she orgasms, then when she’s at the tail end of her orgasm, pull back and quickly penetrate again, hopefully pushing her over into a second or extended series of contractions. Then, and only then, can you let go.