You’ll often see the words ‘tease’ and ‘sex’ in the same sentence because the former is such an effective way to keep long-term sex alive.
Teasing works on the ‘intermittent reinforcement’ principle: if you reward someone every time they expect it, it becomes less desirable. If you reward them every now and then, their excitement level stays heightened and the pleasure more intense. (If you don’t deliver any of the time, our pleasure centres simply give up!)
Sexually teasing your partner involves the promise of stimulation, along with the threat of it not happening. If you’re very, very good at teasing, the prime aim is to make the person beg for your touch.
It takes skill and practice (and a certain type of personality!) to get it right but the good news is, with the help of these clever sex toys, anyone can learn the art of titillation!
TIE UP AND TEASE
Restraint toys. Nothing, but nothing, is more effective as a tease toy than restraints. But unless you’re hugely into B&D, opt for comfy soft bondage ties rather than cold, clunky metal handcuffs that pinch. For some, discomfort is all part of the turn-on. For the average couple who dabble, the appeal tends to be more in the ‘I can’t move my arms/legs, so have to let you do whatever you want with me’ element and if something’s rubbing or pinching, it detracts rather than adds to the experience. Some soft bondage kits have Velcro fastenings which also make the whole process of tying and untying easier and quicker.
Most of us favour one role – being in the submissive position (the one who’s tied up) or dominant (the one who does stuff to the person who’s tied up). Force yourself to try the other role now and then and you might just enjoy the change of pace!
Bondage tape. Bondage tape offers a whole different tie-up experience, one that’s more light-hearted, especially if you choose brightly coloured tape. It doesn’t stick to hair, which is ideal if either of you have hairy arms or legs and for people who are nervous about being powerless and restrained, it’s less threatening. One snip with the scissors and they’re free (though once they’re used to it, undo the tape rather than cutting it because you can reuse it!).
You can also wind it around her breasts and thighs to hide (and then reveal) her hot spots and use it to tie wrists and ankles without worrying about damage to your furniture.
REMOTE CONTROL PLEASURE
Remote control eggs. These are hugely popular for good reason: one person has control over the other person’s pleasure! Insert the egg high into the vagina, hand the controls over to your partner and they then decide when, where and how the egg vibrates inside you.
Guaranteed to make the grocery shop a hell of a lot more exciting and Sunday lunch with the parents a lot less dreary, you can have great fun with this little device.
It also works well for dual stimulation. He can turn it on at the crucial moment during oral sex or while using his fingers to intensify her orgasm.
TURN UP THE TEMPERATURE
Glass dildos. Glass dildos are fantastic tease tools for several reasons.
They’re great for pretending there’s more than one person doing things. So if you’ve got her tied up, insert one vaginally or anally, then use your hands, tongue or penis to simultaneously tease other bits of her body.
They can also be heated up or cooled down and rubbed across breasts, thighs, stomachs, bottoms – anywhere at all that feels nice.
Follow a cold dildo with a hot, warm mouth for a startling shift in sensation, or vice versa – a hot dildo followed by a mouthful of cold champagne dribbled over the genitals.
Clitoral vibrators. These are perfect for teasing because they target a small, specific area which also happens to be her most sensitive spot.
They’re generally small, so don’t get in the way of other antics and are also great to tease around the nipples and anus.
The clitoral vibe in my range also comes with a remote control – even better for focused, teasingly sporadic titillation!