This is a series of posts designed to make sure you’re getting the most out of all the sex toys you own. All too often they get relegated to one purpose: what they’re best for.
While every sex toy does have a prime purpose, they’re all far more versatile than you think.
Here’s some fresh new ideas to help you make the most of all your sex toys so you get maximum value and pleasure out of every purchase!
The G-spot: such a small thing, such controversy!
When researchers first discovered this area was sexually sensitive, women’s magazines and the media went berserk. Assuming they’d found a ‘sex button’ which guaranteed fast, furious, universe-moving orgasms on demand, everyone stayed inside for a week, poking and prodding about trying to find the thing.
Most failed – mainly because such a button doesn’t exist. (Dammit.)
Some still maintain the G-spot is nothing but wishful thinking but there does appear to be a small, sexually responsive patch on the vaginal wall which can trigger orgasm when stimulated.
Call it a G-spot, call it a front vaginal wall hot spot, call it a HolyShitThatFeelsBloodyWonderful spot – the labelling is irrelevant.
What is important is that most people get a definite buzz from exploring this area. There’s just one problem with front wall stimulation: fingers, tongues and penises aren’t terribly effective at reaching it. Unless your partner has fingers like ET, you need a bit of help with this one.
Enter the G-spot vibrator – curved at one end to reach a spot not accessible through usual sexual means. Here’s how to get the most out of yours:
Vibrators aren’t just for genitals Glide it over and under your breasts, on the soft inner thigh, over knotted shoulders and backs. Move it around to include the anus and perineum (the smooth, hairless bit between your vagina and anus or scrotum and anus).
Add lube Yes,I do always put this in every sex toy guide but there’s a reason for it – a lot of people don’t think to use it. Regular lube users can’t imagine using a sex toy without lube but unless you’ve tried a toy with lube, you don’t really know what you’re missing. Seriously, saliva doesn’t last long enough and things like baby oil and hand cream can give you thrush and irritate the hell out of everything. You won’t regret investing in a good all-purpose lube, particularly for G-spot stimulation.
How to find the spot Once you’ve applied some lube to either your vagina (more on anal play later) or directly onto the vibrator, turn it on, insert it (angling it to reach the roof of your vagina – the bit under your tummy) and lie back and enjoy. This is the basic technique to experience your first G-spot orgasm. After that you know what you’re aiming for, what a G-spot orgasm feels like and won’t freak during that ‘I think I’m going to pee not orgasm’ bit. (You won’t though it feels like you will). You’ll find more detailed instruction on finding your G-spot here
Try a new position Lots of women lie on their back with knees pulled up and a pillow under their bottom to find their G-spot. When you’re a pro, try lying face down on your tummy or squat or get on your hands and knees.
USE IT ON HIM Unlike the female version, the male G-spot has an organic function: it’s the prostate gland, which is inside the rectum. There’s another point of difference: while women can find their own, it’s rather difficult for men to stimulate theirs – so do it for him!
Get him to lie on his back and first gently insert a well-lubricated finger inside the rectum. Feel along the front rectal wall (aiming toward his belly button) until you find a raised area, which feels a bit like a walnut: that’s his G-spot.
Once you know what you’re aiming for, lube up the vibe and gently insert, getting him to draw his knees up.
Once he’s relaxed and ready, start massaging the area firmly and use your other hand to masturbate his penis.
Have a threeway Once the G-spot vibe is inserted and doing its stuff, try using a second vibe on your clitoris to experience a ‘blended’ orgasm (two highly sensitive areas stimulated simultaneously). If you’re feeling really aroused and up for it, Insert and leave a butt plug in place for a threeway orgasm that’s off the Richter scale.
Blow their mind Insert the G-spot vibe and leave in place while you fellate him or have one hand working on his penis, the other squeezing his nipples or playing with his testicles. If you’re lesbian, insert vaginally and deliver some killer oral sex. Save blended orgasms for when you’re both experienced though: G-spot orgasms are often the strongest orgasm you’ll have in your life (especially for men) and quite freaky at first. Upping the intensity with lots of different types of stimulation will feel a bit much first up!
Try the ‘taint’ Press the vibe firmly on the perineum (nicknamed the ‘taint’), the smooth bit of skin between his testicles and anus and her vulva and anus. It’s an indirect way of stimulating the G-spot and easy to do during intercourse.
Fix erection problems If he’s losing his erection or having trouble getting one, G-spot stimulation can be key to making him firm again (as long as he enjoys anal stimulation). Reach into that bedside drawer for the vibe and lube and his erection is usually rescued.
Try to ‘squirt’ G-spot stimulation is one of the surest paths to female ejaculation: when a woman releases a small or large (or anywhere in between!) amount of fluid during orgasm. Ejaculation appears to involve stimulating the Skene’s gland which is above your G-spot. If you’re super keen to ejaculate, wait until you are REALLY aroused and then squat before inserting the vibe. Remember that feeling the need to pee is a good sign: when you feel that sensation, try bearing down (pushing out). The stronger your pelvic floor muscles, the more likely you are to ejaculate so keep doing those kegel exercises!
Add some oral This is a hugely popular combination for both men and women: receiving (or giving) G-spot stimulation during oral sex. Simply insert the vibe, then add some mouth action.
TEAMS WELL WITH… Nipple clamps: G-spot orgasms are intense. Match the intensity of what’s happening below with strong clamps on your nipples. Clitoral vibrators: The G-spot vibe is inserted inside, the clitoral vibe works on the outside. Strokers: His G-spot is inside the rectum, so you can use a stroker to masturbate him while it’s inside. Vibrating Penis Rings: Insert the G-spot vibe, then put a vibrating penis ring on him – with the vibe positioned to stimulate his testicles – before giving him oral sex.