10 things I wish I’d known before I’d ever given oral sex

Remember your first time?

It’s scary getting up close and personal with a penis when you haven’t got a clue what to do.

If only someone had told you that….

You use both hands.

One hand holds the base of his penis, the other hand follows your mouth. The first stops the awkward ‘bobbing for apples’ thing happening, the second shares the workload. It’s your hands not your mouth that control his penis.

You push your lips forwards rather than pull them back to cover your teeth.

Pulling your mouth back over your teeth stretches it to the point of being uncomfortable. It feels far nicer, and gives you more room to work, with lips pushed forwards.

It’s highly unlikely you’ll bite it off.

You’d have to deliberately bite down, hard, to do real damage. Jagged teeth, on the other hand, have been known to do damage to a foreskin. Keep it away from danger zones.

You don’t actually suck.

It’s more about creating suction. Close your mouth around him so there’s a firm but comfortable pressure, making sure your mouth is a snug fit. Practise on your finger to get an idea of what’s likely to feel good and what isn’t.

It’s sexier to look at him rather than his penis.

The more you hold eye contact, the more erotic it is.

It’s not all about the penis.

His anus, perineum, testicles, nipples – all are erogenous zones you should pay attention to before and during fellatio.

Deep-throating is a head game.

If you can do it, great. If you can’t or don’t want to, rest assured it doesn’t necessarily feel better. Most of the nerve endings are at the head of the penis, not the bottom.

If you’re paranoid about gagging, while we’re on the topic, keep one hand wrapped around the base to stop it going in deeply and place it to the side of your mouth rather than dead centre.

If you want him to speed up, add some anal.

A well-timed, gently inserted, well lubed finger is just what he needs to push him over the edge.

There is such a thing as a bad BJ.

It’s called getting one from someone who seriously doesn’t want to be there. If the look on your face is distaste not desire, how could it be a turn on?

You really don’t have to swallow.

So long as you keep stimulating him, most men are quite happy to ejaculate elsewhere. It’s not the big deal people make it out to be.