We’ve all had embarrassing moments in the bedroom – some worse than others.
Lots we laugh off at the time and don’t give another thought; others hang around, play on our mind and get magnified out of all proportion.
Feeling ashamed or embarrassed about something we’ve done sexually isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes, it’s a pertinent reminder not to be talked or coerced into doing things we don’t want to do.
Other times, age-old double standards whisper in our ears, even if we know they’re outdated and unrealistic. Or a friend, parent or family member makes an unasked for judgement or comment which makes us feel bad about ourselves or our actions.
I found this recent study on sexual shame by Bad Girls Bible quite interesting.
The website surveyed 1000 people about their sexual quirks, blunders and how shameful they were about them both at the time and after the event.
Here’s what they found out:
We’re more ashamed at the time when….
We’re caught masturbating – 52 per cent of us are mortified at the time, that drops to 34 per cent afterwards.
We failed to perform sexually – 74 per cent of us feel ashamed at the time, this drops to 27 per cent afterwards.
The embarrassment gets worse with time after we’ve…
Had sex with a stranger – 20 per cent of us are ashamed at the time, 30 per cent said it’s worse afterwards.
Cheated on a monogamous partner – 53 per cent feel bad at the time, 78 per cent feel worse afterwards (after the alcohol wears off, perhaps?)
Proof women are more sexually fluid and comfortable with bi-curious feelings
Sexually experimented with same gender – just 2 per cent of women were ashamed afterwards compared to 16 per cent of men.
Attracted to someone who was transgender – 3 per cent of women felt ashamed compared to 16 per cent of men.
Women are more ashamed after doing this than men are
Sex with someone they found unattractive – 45 per cent of women hated themselves afterwards compared to 29 per cent of men.
Had sex for money or a favour – 43 per cent of women felt shameful afterwards compared to 17 per cent of men
Had sex with a stranger – 31 per cent of women regretted it compared to 11 per cent of men.
Had group sex – 16 per cent of women felt sexual shame afterward, compared to a tiny 2 per cent of men.
Other interesting stuff
71 per cent of people would feel ashamed if they accidentally peed during sex – but only 50 per cent of their partners think that’s something to be embarrassed about.
34 per cent of women have said the wrong name during sex.
1900 people search ‘How to prevent queefing?’ each month (air escaping from the vagina during sex).
28 per cent of people have been injured during sex.
33 per cent of 50-year-olds say they wouldn’t stop having sex if the furniture broke, compared to 16 per cent of 20-year-olds.