Anatomically, all orgasms come from the same place even if some feel different than others.
There is only one physical type of orgasm for both men and women, no matter how much we try to pretend there are more.
Call them anal, oral, G-spot, clitoral, multiple, sequential or whatever the hell you like, but an orgasm is still simply our body releasing blood back into the bloodstream after it’s been pumped to pressure point to an aroused area.
Whether you got to that point through oral sex, vaginal sex, anal play, using a vibrator or eating your avocado on toast while standing on your head, the mechanics are the same.
But while the process might always be the same, the feeling registered in the brain isn’t.
Some orgasms are weak pathetic little pulses, others strong and mighty.
What makes the difference?
Emotion, erotic desire, experimentation, skill, timing, patience, chemistry, love – as I said, any and all can do it.
Here’s some tips on turning up the intensity on both of your orgasms. His turn this week, her turn next!
Yes, we all know the joke says simply handing him a beer and taking off your clothes will get a result.
But we’re after a gobsmacker of an orgasm here, so start with the beer and nakedness and add a whispered promise that he doesn’t have to do anything, just take.
He’s transported to a magical place already.
Ask him to masturbate while you watch
Especially watch where he first places his hand at the start – that’s exactly where you place yours when you take over the hand-job. (It sounds unimportant but it’s the key to accurately mimicking the motion).
Pay attention to how firm and fast his grip is
If he’s practically strangling the thing without once wincing, your best bet to deliver an earth-shattering O probably isn’t through intercourse.
Kegel all you like but unless your day job is shooting out ping pong balls in a Thai sex bar, it’s still unlikely your vagina will rival the grip of a tightly closed fist that’s yanking fiercely.
Do him in reverse
Start with intercourse – jump on top and let him penetrate for a few, short, exquisite minutes while you pump your pelvis muscles around him – then jump off and finish him off, using your hand (gripping hard) and mouth together.
If his grip wasn’t too hard, fellate him first. Then jump on top to let him penetrate. Don’t bounce up and down, instead rock back and forth, rubbing your clitoris against his pelvis.
Find out his secret ‘thing’
Most guys have one particular ‘added extra’ which really does it for them. It might be ball play, a finger inserted up his bottom just before orgasm, pressing hard on the perineum, tweaking or biting a nipple, hearing you talk dirty, watching porn, being tied up….
If he won’t come right out and tell you, try the lot (perhaps not all in one go) and see which he most responds to.
As well as finding out his favourite, you’ll add a few others to his list.
The longer the build up…
… the better the orgasm for both sexes so tease mercilessly and don’t forget to moan when he finally does climax to show it’s almost as much of a turn-on watching him get there, than it is you. Award yourself a huge, shiny gold star if you can make yourself orgasm at the same time as you’re letting him take, take, take (guilt-free) simply by humping his leg.
*Next week, how to give her the best orgasm she’s ever had!