How to strip without feeling silly

This is the second in a series of posts designed to help you enjoy three of the most challenging sex acts – without feeling embarrassed.

Part one talks about how to role-play without making a fool of yourself.

This week I tackle stripping.


It’s the thing most men would most love their partner to do for them. Why don’t we? Fear of looking like an idiot, of course! This is one thing I would highly recommend you push through the embarrassment barrier to try. Not only will your partner love it, it’s a fantastically empowering exercise.

The song is the most important thing. Pretend you’ve just come back, tipsy and happy from a night out with your girlfriends, put on your favourite song and are dancing around your bedroom. What song is it? There’s a saying that every girl has one song that turns her into a stripper. That’s probably yours.

Get the lighting right. A supermodel would struggle to confidently disrobe under harsh, overhead lighting. Flatter by lighting from below. Tealights on plates work well; add a side lamp on a table. If you can organise a dramatic silhouette on a wall, even better.

Go all out to look your best. Slather on stuff. Fake tan or body foundation, lip gloss, blusher (around your nipples to make them look defined), a slight slick of baby oil on your body for sheen. Get a blow-dry and allow time to get your makeup right.

Pretend you’re playing a part in a movie and go all out to get in character. The more you dress up, the less you’ll feel like ‘you’. You might be too shy to strip but the sexy siren you’ve turned yourself into, sure as hell isn’t!

Give yourself space. Move clutter out of the way so you’re not at risk of tripping over something. Work out where you want your partner to sit to watch you. Have drinks on ice and at the ready.

Keep your outfit simple. You only need one layer on top of underwear. A fitted shirt works well because you can undo the buttons one by one and it’s easy to remove; a skirt that slides easily over your hips is obviously preferable to tight jeans. Even better, a silky slip dress that slips easily off the shoulders to fall to the floor. Wear slip-on heels you can walk in and balance on. Sexy underwear is de rigueur; stockings and suspenders are the ultimate treat but stay-up stockings work just as well and are less fiddly.

Scarves are great as props. Put it around their neck to draw them close, use it to tie their hands together or put it over your shoulders and slide from side to side, between your hands, arching your back at the same time. If you’re feeling self-conscious, you can use it as a blindfold.

There’s an art to undressing. Pull your top upwards to show your breasts at an advantageous angle; turn around, point your bottom towards your partner and arch your back, before you remove your skirt. Every time you remove something, hold it against you, covering the bit they most want to see. Then turn around and fling it to one side, continuing to cover with your hands. Then reveal. Keep one leg in front of the other, heel lifted, to turn awkward poses into elegant. (Especially true when removing knickers.)

Have a plan. Don’t attempt to wing it – it won’t go well. A simple three to five minute routine is all you need. A bit of walking around, then slow, teasing removal of your clothes. Practise first in front of a mirror. If you lose your nerve after one or two minutes, don’t worry. Just walk sexily over to them, sit on their lap and start kissing.

If you forget what to do, just strut around a bit. Mentally visualise a figure of eight and make your hips follow. Place one foot directly in front of the other when you walk, and you’ll see how easy it is. Chest out. Head up. Think proud and sassy.

Keep your distance. You’ll feel less self-conscious and it’s sexier. Creating physical distance is what builds the anticipation – they can look but can’t touch.

You don’t have to make eye contact. It can be super sexy to maintain eye contact throughout. But it’s also sexy to completely ignore them and dance just for yourself.

Look for the positive. Your partner looks shell-shocked? They probably are – but with excitement! They’re not judging you, they just can’t believe their luck.