Photograph by Mahrael Boutros
I’m often asked what makes a good lover.
Enthusiasm is an obvious answer. Good technique and experience another.
But there’s another factor which separates a great lover from the pack: unpredictability.
The most sensuous, stimulating sex move quickly becomes boring when it’s on repeat.
The next time you have sex, throw in one of these to get your partner perking up and paying attention.
ALWAYS STIMULATE TWO SPOTS SIMULTANEOUSLY
It ignites twice as many nerve endings and ups anticipation of what you’ll do or where you’ll go next. Most of us can masturbate ourselves to orgasm more effectively than our partners (we’ve had more practise). The reason why it feels so much better when someone else does it isn’t just because it’s less effort, it’s because their touch is (hopefully) unpredictable. Research shows men produce significantly higher levels of testosterone when being touched by someone else as opposed to themselves. Good combo’s to try: penis/testicles, penis/anus, vagina/clitoris, clitoris/nipples etc.
Or try this for a killer combo…
ADD ANAL AND BALL PLAY TO FELLATIO
And you’ll upgrade your BJ instantly. Get him to stand while you kneel and start with oral, then press the flat of your tongue against his anus, flutter it against the opening, then make your tongue stiff and push inside, thrusting in and out. As you do this, continue stimulating his penis with your hand. Come back to his testicles by licking all the way along the perineum, then use a wide, flat tongue to lick them. Run your tongue up the length of his shaft and swirl your tongue around the head. Keep fellating him but add anal again by inserted a well-lubed finger inside him just before orgasm. You can get a similar effect by using the side of your hand and pressing up hard in between his legs.
FAKE A FORESKIN
If he’s uncircumcised, he’s got an inbuilt natural lubricant – the foreskin. Take a firm grip, then hitch a ride, gliding it along the shaft, rolling it up over the head and back down. If he’s circumcised, imitate that foreskin feeling by masturbating him using a silky hair scrunchie, your (pre-worn) silk panties, a stocking or even a slippery hanky (if you’re really hard up). Wrap it around the base of his penis and roll it up and down.
SEDUCE THEM IN FRONT OF A MIRROR
Get your partner to stand in front of a full length mirror (or catch them in the act of admiring themselves). You come in, stand behind and seduce them in front of it. Play with their nipples, kiss their neck, run your hands over their body, remove their clothes and yours before pushing and rubbing yourself naked against their back. At no point are they allowed to turn around or you move in front of them. Finally bring them to orgasm by putting your hands around them to deliver a hand-job they can watch. It mimics the angle they use when they pleasure themselves – and they get to gaze in fascination at what they look like when aroused and having an orgasm.
TRY THE ‘V’ TECHNIQUE
The ‘V’ works because it stimulates parts of the clitoris that can’t be seen. Your fingers should be pointed ‘down’ (toward her bottom). Use your index and middle finger to form a V-sign and slide them either side of the clitoris, running them up and down over the outer labia. As you draw your fingers up and down to stimulate her ‘inner’ clitoris (the clitoral ‘legs’ which run down the side), you’ll be drawing her clitoral hood lightly up and down as well, doing her ‘outside’ clitoris as well (the tip you can see). Circle your fingertips gently as you slide in the V finger position to stimulate both at once.
DO TONGUE PUSH-UPS
Yes, I am serious and yes, this isn’t officially a trick. Do these regularly, though, and your tongue will be as agile as possible for oral sex. Repeat all of these exercises 10 to 20 times before moving onto the next. Stand in front of a mirror and curl your tongue up so the tip of it touches the roof. Now move into a tongue curl: curl the edges of your tongue and then let it go flat. Next, do a tongue stretch, sticking it out as far as it will go, then pull it back in. Finally, try to touch your nose then your chin.