• Ask Tracey Cox a sex or relationship question

    9 things you should never say in bed

    I’ve always said mouths are great for lots of things in bed, but the most important of them all is talking.

    Second most important: knowing when to zip your lips.

    There are some sex sentences that should never, ever be said - especially not in the heat of the moment. Like…

    Should you confess if you've had an affair

    Some people are opportunistic cheaters and jump at a bit on the side whenever it's on offer, even if they're blissfully, happily married.

    But most - women particularly - are lured into infidelity during difficult times and end the affair when the marriage becomes stable and satisfying again.

    You’re then faced with a moral dilemma: if you've had an affair but it's now over, is it better to come clean or say nothing?

    People assume honestly is the best policy but in this scenario but it's not necessarily true. It depends very much on the circumstances.

    5 mistakes even experienced lovers make

    So you think you’re pretty good at giving oral sex?

    Haven’t had any complaints but have had lots of women begging for more?

    Most experienced lovers know the basics (make sure she’s wet, don’t be too rough). But don’t be too sure you’re at masterclass level until you check you’re not guilty of any of the following…

    graffiti monster swallowing

    Wrapping your mouth around your lover’s penis is one of the most personal, intimate and erotic sex acts of all. Enthusiastically embracing oral sex shows your partner you’re not squeamish and happy to give as well as receive pleasure. Follow this up with good technique and you can’t help but impress.

    Or can you?

    Giving good oral isn’t quite as easy as it looks and many a skilled fellator has been guilty of one of the following. Make sure you aren’t!

    Sex after a split

    Thought you’d never have to stare at a strange ceiling again?

    Won’t even show your naked body to the cat, let alone someone new?

    Splitting up with a long-term lover leaves most of us feeling vulnerable, insecure and unattractive.

    You can’t imagine yourself ever being happy, let alone wanting or having having hot, erotic sex with someone new.

    But trust me: that day will come - and so will you!

    Here’s how to navigate the journey back to the bedroom, emotionally and physically.

    Make your orgasm last 179 times longer 2

    Imagine an orgasm that lasts a full 30 minutes, with occasional, deep contractions occurring up to 24 hours afterward.

    Make your orgasm last 179 times longer

    If you're the average woman enjoying a reasonably good sex life, a whole 45 seconds of your week is spent having an orgasm.

    Yup. All that buzzing and stroking and grinding for a mere 15 seconds of ecstasy, three times over.

    Now imagine an orgasm that lasts a full 30 minutes, with occasional, deep contractions occurring up to 24 hours afterwards.

    Get your mojo back after menopause

    The menopause is a bitch.

    But when it comes to your sex life, there’s still a lot you can do to manage symptoms and come out on top - literally.

    What is normal in sex?

    How much you can really learn from putting numbers on something as complex and complicated as sexual behaviour is debatable. But that doesn’t stop us wanting to do it!

    As a point of interest and for broad comparison, sex research stats are definitely worth a browse.

    Can she solve his sex dilemmas?

    This series focuses on solutions to things that are a little sensitive or embarrassing to ask - often because the answer seems like it should be obvious!

    Part 1 talked about what to do if a toy gets lost and how to use a vibrator or a dildo. Part 2 had fix-its for him, including what to do if she doesn’t like intercourse or you going down on her. Here, you’ll find female-focused solutions like what to do if he falls out all of the time.

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